To My Future Husband, Here Are 5 Things I Want You To Know

To My Future Husband, Here Are 5 Things I Want You To Know

These are the things I want in a marriage.

This is for my future husband, whoever you may be.

Hi sweetheart, I’m 19 years old writing this. I know its early to be thinking about marriage, but, I was looking for inspiration to write and I thought of you. I thought of what our marriage would be life. I thought of all the things I want and I hope you would want too. I know we will have differences in opinion, but there are some things I see essential to a marriage. These are important. Not only are will they bring you closer to the enigma that is women, but, they will give insight to who I am as a woman, a leader, a princess and, of course, your wife.

1. Please, darling, respect and encourage the maintenance and wants of us women.

We aren’t spoiled or prissy for splurging on the services that keep us to be as radiant as we are. Us women want our hair snipped and our feet soaked. We deserve elegant clothing and jewelry that glistens in the sun. We love fine food and a variety of culture that opens our souls. Now, I understand that not every person has the luxury of enjoying some of life’s perks. However, if we are lucky enough to be able to indulge, please, allow me.

2. We love to listen and learn.

As much as us women love to share our views and our secrets, we want to hear yours even more. We need to know the wheels are turning in your head. We want to see that you recognize the world around you and question it beyond its face value. We want you to elevate us in intellectual ways. Read, watch and absorb everything and anything. Our husbands are supposed to see life with us. You can add so much to what we see on a daily basis, so, speak up! I’m not only marrying you for your devilish looks, I marrying your brain too.

3. Respect is essential.

Through the inevitable fights, the “silent treatments” and the tears, respect will be the staple of our marriage. That is the only way it will survive. If we don’t respect each other what’s the point? This entails all arguments, all adversities and all differences in the marriage. We must be a unit. A unit can face the world together and tackle anything. All decisions must require both of our approval: no lying or secrets. If we respect each other not only will that ensure any issue can be resolved, but, it will keep our marriage together, forever.

4. Support us at our highs and lows.

Do not wait for me to lose my job and to gain five pounds of depression weight. I want support when I am peaking in my career, life and looks. I want encouragement and genuine interest in my passions and work. I want you to care just as much as I do and when I face failure I need a push. I need you to see the potential I have to be the best when I can’t see it myself.

5. We love to be loved.

Any woman just want’s the person they want, to want them back. It’s simple. So even after years of marriage, and plenty of hardships, we still want you. We want to know that you still want us too, so, remind us. Flowers, dinner, kisses, cuddles and hugs does all that. Why humans tend to take such amazing things for granted; I guess it’s a part of our nature? However, a marriage needs constant reminders of why it exists. Physical and emotional connection is key to keeping the love alive. So every now and then come home with a rose or a kiss. We will love both just the same.

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To The Girl Who Had A Plan

A letter to the girl whose life is not going according to her plan.
“I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.” - William Ernest Henley

Since we were little girls we have been asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” We responded with astronauts, teachers, presidents, nurses, etc. Then we start growing up, and our plans change.

In middle school, our plans were molded based on our friends and whatever was cool at the time. Eventually, we went to high school and this question became serious, along with some others: “What are your plans for college?” “What are you going to major in?” “When do you think you’ll get married?” “Are you going to stay friends with your friends?” We are bombarded with these questions we are supposed to have answers to, so we start making plans.

Plans, like going to college with our best friends and getting a degree we’ve been dreaming about. Plans, to get married as soon as we can. We make plans for how to lose weight and get healthy. We make plans for our weddings and children.

SEE ALSO: 19 Pieces Of Advice From A Soon-To-Be 20-Year-Old

We fill our Pinterest boards with these dreams and hopes that we have, which are really great things to do, but what happens when you don’t get into that college? What happens when your best friend chooses to go somewhere else? Or, what if you don’t get the scholarship you need or the awards you thought you deserved. Maybe, the guy you thought you would marry breaks your heart. You might gain a few pounds instead of losing them. Your parents get divorced. Someone you love gets cancer. You don’t get the grades you need. You don’t make that collegiate sports team. The sorority you’re a legacy to, drops you. You didn’t get the job or internship you applied for. What happens to you when this plan doesn’t go your way?

I’ve been there.

The answer for that is “I have this hope that is an anchor for my soul.” Soon we all realize we are not the captain of our fate. We don’t have everything under control nor will we ever have control of every situation in our lives. But, there is someone who is working all things together for the good of those who love him, who has a plan and a purpose for the lives of his children. His name is Jesus. When life takes a turn you aren’t expecting, those are the times you have to cling to Him the tightest, trusting that His plan is what is best. That is easier said than done, but keep pursuing Him. I have found in my life that His plans were always better than mine, and slowly He’s revealing that to me.

The end of your plan isn’t the end of your life. There is more out there. You may not be the captain of your fate, but you can be the master of your soul. You can choose to be happy despite your circumstances. You can change directions at any point and go a different way. You can take the bad and make something beautiful out of it, if you allow God to work in your heart.

SEE ALSO: To The Girl Patiently Waiting With An Impatient Heart

So, make the best of that school you did get in to. Own it. Make new friends- you may find they are better than the old ones. Apply for more scholarships, or get a job. Move on from the guy that broke your heart; he does not deserve you. God has a guy lined up for you who will love you completely. Spend all the time you can with the loved one with cancer. Pray, pray hard for healing. Study more. Apply for more jobs, or try to spend your summer serving others instead. Join a different club or get involved in other organizations on campus. Find your delight first in God and then pursue other activities that make you happy; He will give you the desires of your heart.

My friend, it is going to be OK.

Cover Image Credit: Megan Beavers Photography

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I'm Not Feelin' 22, But I'll Make The Most Of It

The reality of becoming another year older and the stress that it may bring.


Birthdays are all about being the center of attention, - birthday wishes from friends and family, and celebrating another milestone in your life. People go out of their way to buy party favors, set up parties, and buy gifts just to make someone feel special on their birthday. However, some people dread their special day because of anxiety and depression. This past weekend was my 22ndbirthday, and although I'm usually excited for my birthday, this was the birthday I had been dreading.

Birthdays are inevitable. Once you reach past the age of 21, everything seems to go downhill, or at least I think so. Once I realized I was going to be 22 last Sunday, I realized the new responsibilities and norms that come with turning this age. I am a Junior at the University of Arizona, should be a senior, and most of my friends are younger than me. With most of my friends graduating this year at the age of 22, I can't help but feel bad that I will be graduating at the age of 23. After being at a large university for three years, I have felt "behind" because of my age and academic standing. Being the oldest of my friends brings a sense of anxiety out in me and pressure that I should be graduated by now.

Another issue I have with birthdays at this age is the expectation of certain milestones that I have not accomplished yet. With social media being such a large part of our society today, seeing so many different people on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter posting pictures of what they are doing every second of the day, it's hard not to feel bad if you are not up to par with others lives. Some people are having babies, while others are going to medical school, where do I fit in?

Although birthdays bring some sense of negativity to me, I think that they should be celebrated in a positive light. My best friend, Colleen, knew I was feeling down about my birthday and wanted to help me feel better about turning the big 2-2. She bought balloons, silly string, and letter banners just to decorate our apartment to make me feel excited about the day. She bought me the most unique presents that only a best friend would know I would have wanted. At the end of the day, we went to my favorite restaurant and with the help of Colleen, my day had turned around.

While you may catch the birthday blues at some point in your lifetime, there are ways to change your attitude on the day. You may hear from someone from the past wishing you a happy birthday that can make you smile, or receive a gift from a family or friend that you had your eye on in the store and they knew you had to have it. Don't compare yourself to others when it comes to birthday plans, live the day how you would like and spend it with the people that matter most to you.

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