Everyone loves dogs. People who claim they don't love dogs are either liars or anarchists. Let's be honest here, no human friendship can equate to the love and trust this pet has for you. When it comes down to it, the only real dilemma we seem to face with man's best friend is a lack of communication. This list provides a reminder of all the things we would tell our dogs if they could understand.

(It should be noted that I have four dogs that behave the way I imagine four disrespectful teenagers would, and I still love them more than anything.)

1. The water in the bowl is better for you than the rainwater.

I know this changes everything you thought you knew about water, and I am sorry. But, honestly, I'm pretty confused too. I understand when you refuse to drink out of the bowl because there is a leaf in it. If I were you, I would also politely decline. The part I don't get is when you go outside and drink the muddy rain water. Maybe it just tastes better, but if that's the case, is the leaf really hurting anything?

2. You wanting to run does not mean I want to run.

My world does, in fact, revolve around you. So it pains me to say this almost as much as it pains me to go jogging. When I come home from a long day of not sitting on the couch with you, the last thing on my mind is to have you drag me around the neighborhood. It's nothing personal and I promise I will take you out this weekend (unless it's over 80 degrees outside because... come on).

3. Not everyone that knocks on the door is there to murder me.

There might be a day in which I need your protection, but most days are not that day. Maybe it's my fault for letting you stay up late watching scary movies. Maybe it's the door's fault for being made of such hollow wood. Do you know who's not at fault? The girl scout selling cookies.

4. My food is NOT your food.

I sympathize. I go on the occasional diet and I understand how difficult willpower can be when that yumminess is staring you in the face. It's one thing to not to eat the good food, and it's another to be told to eat literal dog food. For this, I apologize. However, when I go out with friends and their food looks good, I don't put my entire face in their soup. I don't pull their pork chop off the table and on the ground just so I can have a taste. It's basic manners and I raised you better than this.

5. Stop freaking out when my friend throws a ball in the house.

It is just unnecessary. I would like to use this article to formally ask that no one throw a ball in my house again. I only say this because to my dogs a ball is not a ball. A ball is the holy grail. While the dogs let all hell break loose, I cannot be angry with them. After all, if someone threw free college tuition in my house, I would immediately allow the descent into chaos.

6. This is my territory. Stop peeing on it.

All jokes aside, the line must be drawn somewhere. I have a husky who has been a serious jerk about marking his territory. Something that has helped with the problem is a diaper that is pitiful, but funny. I suggest this alternative solution to any pet owners with the same problem. Unless your pet is a cat, in which case I believe you should give the animal to a loving home owned by your least favorite people.

7. Finally, I want you to know I am your biggest fan.

For every moment of aggravation, there is a greater moment of appreciation. My most recent addition to the family is a beagle named Mileaux. When I dragged him and his muddiness out of the heat and into the car, I was annoyed. When I gave him a bath only to have him run out of my hands and into more mud, I was frustrated. And when he didn't eat much for a few weeks, I felt downright disrespected. Still, I would do it all again just to see my best friend's tail wag when I walk in the room.