Dear high school seniors,
Happy fall! I don’t know about you, but fall is my absolute favorite time of year. Pumpkin spice lattes, sweaters, scarves, turkey, college applications (yes college applications)…
For many of you, this fall has brought lots of stress and uncertainty as you apply to colleges and try to figure out where life will take you next fall as a freshman. I wanted to share with you about some of my experiences and some advice so that this time of your life will not be as stressful and filled with uncertainty for you.
"My life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's OK." — Rachel Wolchin
An important lesson of adulthood is that things tend to never go according to plan. So an important skill to begin developing now is the ability to balance between holding on and letting go. This involves being able to let go of what you thought should happen and embrace life as it is unfolding before you. Maybe you won’t be able to get into or attend your dream college or program. That’s okay. There is no shame in being turned down by a college or not being admitted to the program of study that you wanted. This is not a reflection of who you are as a person. This is more a reflection of the college - that they won’t be able to help you succeed. They want to ensure you can thrive, not just survive at their school.
So the college you end up at might not be your first choice, but they will most likely be able to better serve you and your needs as a student. When I received my first rejection letter, I was really disappointed. However, I eventually realized this was because the university did not have the exact major and program I was trying to apply for. While I am thankful the school recognized that they wouldn’t be able to serve me and my needs to the best of their ability, the sting of rejection was still hard to cope with. Although it’s okay to grieve the loss of this opportunity, you need to realize that when one door closes another one opens.
As a freshman in high school, I was dead set on attending Loyola University. However, after doing a campus visit I determined that Loyola was not for me. I had built Loyola up in my mind as a being this perfect fit where all my dreams would come true, but I was disappointed upon seeing the reality. Don’t get me wrong, Loyola is a great school for many people, but not what I needed in a school. As a senior with no plan, this made me anxious because I like to have everything figured out and organized. So no longer knowing where I was going to be the following year as a freshman was really stressful.
I was lucky that I had my mom with me on my college discernment process. She pushed me to explore all of my options and not just settle for what I previously thought would be the best for me. I can’t imagine how different my life would be if I had not explored my opportunities more. Although not originally on my radar, I have completely fallen in love with the University of Dayton (UD). I am ashamed to say that I even initially resisted visiting UD, but thanks to my mom’s insistence I did visit and slowly fell more in love with UD.
I also didn’t have any of those "magic" moments where you just seem to instantly know this school was meant for you. As I watched so many of my classmates immediately find their soulmate school, I became even more desperate to have a similar experience. Although I kept searching for that magic moment, I did not find it. Even though UD was not what I initially thought I wanted, UD ended up being the school that fit me the best and where I felt most at home. In this way, my "magic" moment was the realization of how comfortable I was at UD.
This realization happened as my mom and I casually strolled through UD’s campus on my fourth visit to the campus. As we walked, I surprised myself that I knew where to go and was so comfortable walking campus. I realized that I could really see myself walking to and from classes as a student the next fall. So fear not if you have not had a traditional "magic" moment, maybe your moment will be different. Maybe you won’t have a moment, and that’s okay too. Just be sure to find a school that fits you the best.
Most importantly, enjoy this journey. Don’t let yourself get too stressed. Have fun exploring colleges! Take this time as an opportunity to explore who you are and discover more about yourself. To find what will fit you best, you need to know who you are.
Please also know that there are no right or wrong choices. Don’t worry about making a mistake and choosing the wrong school. I know plenty of peers that I graduated high school with who went to what seemed like the perfect school to only later figure out that it was not a good fit for them and switch to another. That is perfectly fine! There is no shame in changing your mind and doing what is right for you. Your choice is not permanent, not set in stone. All of these choices you will make are important to your life story because they will shape you for better or for worse into the person you are meant to be. You will eventually find a place where you will fit in that will allow you to thrive.
I wish you all the best in finding the college that fits you! Please know that I believe in you and that you can do it.