I've been known to binge eat. I can eat two large pizzas by myself in one sitting. I ate three boxes of thin mints back to back at work once. I gobbled down a McDonald's Bundle Box and still had room for some cold spaghetti in my fridge afterwards. Two boxes of Krispie Kreme Doughnuts? That's amateur hour. I've put away three dozen in a day.

A few years ago, I felt like I was trapped. I was in a dead end job, and a dead end relationship that I couldn't afford to leave. Financially, I couldn't save enough for a security deposit to leave. Emotionally, I thought that he would change and be who I needed. Eventually, I got the balls to break it off.

I realized I was eating to feel some semblance of pleasure. I didn't feel loved, I felt awful about myself. The more I ate, the worse I felt, but I couldn't stop. With time, I stopped binge eating, I bought healthy groceries. My newly found outlook on life let my physical health and mental health work together to promote one another. I lost twenty pounds. I felt a lot better physically, but I felt shitty about myself for letting it get that far. I had gained nearly seventy pounds. I decided it was time for a change.

As a teenager, I would often look down on myself for being a little bit curvier (5 or 10 pounds over the recommended BMI for someone if my height). Every year, I got a physical for school, and every year I would obsess over my "excessive" ten pounds.

I've been committing to a healthier life style. I meal plan, prep, cook. I grocery shop every week.

I don't feel like some kind of alien hungry, hungry hippo if I have a bad day and over eat. More importantly, I don't give up that whole day. If I have a bad lunch, I try to get back on track with dinner. If I goof up and end up eating a whole pizza by myself, I ask myself, what was I feeling when that happened and how can I present myself from being in that place again.

I don't cut entire groups out of my diet. Yes, once in awhile I will eat a few slices of pizza (the goal being not the whole damn pie!). I enjoyed turkey and ham over the holidays, as well as a few cookies. I live life in moderation, truly.

Most importantly, I make a point to only surround myself with people who are full of love for me. I joined a group with a lot of people who have faced or are facing the same struggles as me. I feel supported, and if I fall off the wagon for a few weeks (or months!), I know I can always be brought back and not judged. I have learned that I am beautiful (so is everyone else!) just the way I am. I focus on feeling healthy, and that makes me feel pretty fucking sexy. The way to my heart is still through my stomach though.