It's hard to consider yourself a creative person or say you want to be a "creative" when you're not doing creative work. That's the problem I'm having right now, I have all these projects I want to work on or but still find it hard to prioritize them and make creating a part of my daily routine.

In reality it's shouldn't be that hard. It's fairly simple to put something on a task list or incorporate it into a schedule. So why Can't I? I've written countless to-do lists tasking myself to pick up the guitar, practice drawing or at the very least follow a skillshare class. But for some reason I always found a way to get out of it. By keeping busy doing random chores and completely avoiding, the creative work I'm craving. It seems that I had some serious barriers in place, and I've been thinking about why that is.

Growing up I always veered towards the arts. I danced ballet, I drew, I sang and I didn't really think about why. Because you're a kid so who cares... The truth is there was always this assumption in the back of my mind that I grew up with. The assumption that singing, dancing, painting and the like are things you do as a kid.

It’s great and you get to socialize and have fun but eventually you grow out of it. So you stop and focus on something more serious. Like everyone else around you. You study hard and find a good job that'll provide a great life through fulfilling work and compensation $$.

You tell yourself that the people who achieved success in their craft were more talented, lucky. Had more opportunity or started younger. At least I did, I shied away from what made sense to me until I felt confused about the direction I wanted my life to take. Until I completely dismissed my interests in music and art.

They didn't seem valuable so I just stopped. Eventually I didn't feel valuable because all I cared about were stupid things. I felt like a joke stuck in a constant state of having to prove herself.

Truth is, sometimes you don't grow out of it, at least I didn't. I should follow it through since it's my motivation and there's no reason for me to shame that. It's important because I care about it and I can't let the thought of failing or not being good enough hold me back. I know that now, and it's about time I act like it.