The first time I saw the ocean I was 14. It was part of a mission trip with my church youth group. We went to the beach in Galveston, Texas as a little detour after our week mission trip in Waco, Texas. I grew up near Lake Michigan, so I went there all the time. Lake Michigan is impressive for a lake, but it’s still not the ocean. For years I had wanted to see the ocean, see palm trees, and big waves, and pelicans, all the things you don’t see on the lake.

As we drove through Galveston I marveled at the palm trees towering above my head. I couldn’t stop leaning my head against the window to get a better look. They lined the streets and the sun was so bright. It was only March, but it felt like summer. I had only ever seen palm trees like this in movies or small ones in greenhouses. As we approached the beach I saw pelicans, their big brown and white bodies and wingspans bigger than I had imagined. On Lake Michigan, we only saw seagulls.

As far as the eye could see was water. Lake Michigan also appeared endless, you couldn’t see the other side as you looked across, but you knew it was much smaller, the other side just out of view. As I stood looking across the gulf, I knew it was bigger than anything I had ever seen, endless. For hours I enjoyed the view, the salty smell of the fresh ocean air, and savored it knowing I might not see the ocean again for years.

This was actually the main reason I started going to youth group, it was to go on trips like this where I could see mountains and oceans. Over six years later, my husband and I saw more oceans; the Atlantic, the middle of the Pacific, and two years ago we returned to the Gulf of Mexico, this time on the other side, in Florida. I was in the warm sunny ocean again. In Florida, there are many different kinds of Palm trees and big Bald Cypress trees. This land was so familiar, with its flat terrain, and grid streets like Chicago.

Herons, sandpipers, egrets, and many other birds were everywhere, like where I grew up in Illinois, but many more. Even stores and restaurants I grew up with in the Midwest were here. It felt familiar, but new and warm and exciting, a place that immediately felt like me. At first, we lived near Fort Lauderdale in South Florida, but we found ourselves driving to the west coast to go to Naples every weekend. Months later we moved to St Petersburg Florida a few hours north of Naples and fell in love.

Florida brought out things in me that I had forgotten. In Florida, there are birds, reptiles, and marine life everywhere. When you go outside and go to the beach or the park, every day is unique and you never know what you might see. Every time I went outside it was an adventure, I felt like a kid again. I discovered new creatures and plants and watched them in awe. As I watched them I remembered how much I loved wildlife.

I never knew a place could have such an effect on a person. But Florida has caused me to remember my love for animals. When I was 12 I wanted to be a zoologist. For my birthday, I went to Brookfield Zoo and did the keeper for a day program, one on one with a zookeeper, I fed penguins and pet them, it was my dream.

After getting into youth group, however, I thought for my life to be worth something I should be a missionary. I forgot about my love for animals and my dream of becoming a zoologist, I threw it all away for what I thought was my calling.

In the last few months, we left Florida and went back to Pennsylvania to be near our friends and my husband’s family. For some reason, the last few weeks as I have been sitting in my cold Pennsylvania apartment, I can’t get Florida out of my head. It’s not just because it’s warmer there, but the ocean and the animals, the birds everywhere, and the brown anoles that run across the sidewalk everywhere you walk. The snakes and the alligators and the armadillos. There’s just something about that place that I love. It feels like home and I miss it.

While I’ve been thinking about Florida and missing it more than I knew I could ever miss a place, I have also been considering what two electives I should pick for school. I’ve considered many different subjects, things that interest me or might compliment my writing degree, I considered history, or more writing courses, photography, psychology.

I looked at the biology courses again and can’t stop thinking about it, about my childhood dream of being a zoologist. I can’t stop thinking about the animals, the ocean, and my home in Florida. I'm already counting down the days until I return.