I vaguely remember being a little girl. I remember high school pretty vividly if I sit there and I concentrate, but anything before that is nothing but dull memories. However, I do remember that I had zero female role models in my life growing up, and this made being a teenage girl really difficult. I had an older sister, but we are polar opposites, so we didn't connect very well. My mother and I didn't get along very well until recently, but she did, over time, tell me things that affected the decisions I make as a young woman. So, I didn't really have anyone there to tell me what they did when they were younger and help me out with "girl stuff."

I have a little sister now and she is the brightest light in the room--I can promise you that she will never leave you with any other impression. She pretty much put a newfound love of children in my heart. I remember when she was an infant and she couldn't stay still long enough to just hang out with me or lay down with me because she was always so hyper. She's calmed down--a little, which is still generous--and my favorite thing for us to do is just sit there with her cuddled up next to me. I can tell we are going to be best friends forever, no question.

One thing I wonder about all the time is: will she make the same mistakes I did?

I can't help but think that I need to write stuff like this down and express myself the way I do so that she can learn from me. There are some things I want to highlight for her as she grows up and becomes a young woman--things that no one ever told me.

1. Do not forget how much you love your mother

There's this connection between mothers and daughters that I wish was universal--Gilmore girls style, for sure. We can all be "daddy's little girls", but there's something about a mother--she can teach you how to be a woman in a way that no man can.

My mom made some mistakes, and for the longest time, I was really mad at her. I was the queen of holding a grudge. Then, for an even longer time, I was sad. I felt the need to fix everything and was disappointed when I couldn't. I was really confused as to why she did the things she did and why life happened the way it did. I shut myself down, thinking these dumb thoughts, like how I never wanted a family and never wanted to get married because I didn't want to screw up or be with someone who screwed up. I even let myself get in some pretty crappy relationships for the sheer fact that I genuinely didn't care if they ended because I was never really connected to those people. I didn't want to let anyone in my life that could hurt me, which, looking back, was really stupid. My anger and my sadness made me scared to be a wife and a mother someday.

I didn't understand that in order for God to get rid of my anger and the hurt inside of me, I had to forgive my mom. I do remember, vividly, when I forgave her, and then again when she forgave me. It was just a decision but it was a big ass deal, let me tell you. Years of animosity were diminished. I decided to stop being so angry because it wasn't helping anything. God loves my mom, he loves her so much, and she loves Him, too--deeply--I just never saw it because I was blinded.

I started to see my mom in a new light. My mom is a beautiful human being. Let me repeat: a human being. She makes mistakes, and that's okay because we all do. As long as she is working toward being a better human being, that is all I can ask for to maintain our relationship. It is up to the both of us to decide if this is going to work. She is the only [biological] mother I will have.

(Let me interject real quick: my situation does not mean your situation can be easily forgiven because this literally took years to resolve and not all situations are the same)

Summer, do not let any animosity between you and your mom hurt your relationship. Moms and daughters fight, and the fights will never end. It is a two person job to decide to forgive each other, no matter what the argument is about. At the end of the day, you love each other so much. Don't take it for granted. Don't be the stubborn one. Love her dearly and love her forever--no matter what she does.

2. Don't let other people make you feel insecure

This is a real, natural thing that happens, so it's really hard for me to simply say "don't let it happen." I've pretty much always been a big mouth. I tell people what I'm feeling, even when I know I shouldn't--and that's bad sometimes. I always use the excuse, "I'm just trying to help you out", even though I'm straight up telling someone they are an asshole or their shoes are ugly. But I mean, it just happens; word vomit. I am mean sometimes. I'm not only hard on others, but I am hard on myself.

Something I've learned over the past year or two is how to embrace my personality. I love to make people laugh more than anything, and I am an absolute goof. I do know when to tone it down and calm down, but naturally, I'm an idiot. At work, at school, anywhere. It's how I connect with people because it makes people feel comfortable when you are comfortable. I love to make relationships with people because it's easy to when I am being myself.

But, before embracing my own, bubbly self, I used to be easily intimidated by everyone. I had really bad social anxiety to the point where I would skip class all the time and never leave my apartment--it was really damaging. Not only to my self-esteem but to all the relationships in my life. I always wondered if people actually wanted to spend time with me, or if they genuinely liked me or not--and it haunted me.

Sometimes, before I decided to stop being intimidated by everything, I wouldn't even talk. I would never speak up in class, or with my friends, or anything because I never wanted to be rejected.

You can't let yourself and who you are be held back by people that cannot handle your personality and spirit. Not everyone is cut out to like you, and that's okay. You do not need to please every single person that walks by you. It would make the world a whole lot easier, yes, but people will always find something to bitch about.

Summer, I'm not saying be a super-bitch and tell everyone how it is all the time, but do not hold yourself back because you are afraid people won't like you. People will like you, and those people will have your back because they know who you really are. Asking every other person that walks the earth to like you is just as easy as pretending to like every other person--It's not.

3. Society is a bitch

Here I am again, talking about body image.

I'm going to make this one short and sweet.

Summer, God gave you one body. Enjoy it. Treat it like a temple. The only people that will criticize your body are yourself and people that have no drive to improve their lives themselves.

4. People will come and go

I remember my first breakup. It wasn't even with a boy. It was with my best friend.

I remember being so upset about this "breakup" that I would cry about it all the time because she turned out to simply not be the person I thought she was. I valued her friendship more than she valued mine and that's all there is to it. Friendships work with two people. You cannot do little and expect a lot from someone else. You get what you give, and if you are not getting enough, you need to let go because it will save you lots of hurt down the road.

Summer, I let go of a lot of my friends I thought would be by my side for a while. Now, I have new ones I know, with the deepest sincerity, that I will have them in my life forever because I've never been treated by people so well. Don't settle for anyone. Strive for the best of friends--and be a good one, too.

5. Stay close to the Lord

I haven't always been close to the Lord, and it made life hard. Life with the Lord is still hard but life without Him is just a battle you will never win. I promise you, life will make much more sense when you get to know who He really is.

A relationship with Him makes you want to be a better woman for yourself, for your friends, for your future children, for your future husband, and for pretty much every single person you will meet from this point forward. His presence in your life matters.

I have this one friend, and when I met her, I knew she loved God. I knew it immediately. She walked into a room and radiated the love of God because she loves everyone she meets. Not because she has to, but because she knows it's the right thing to do.

Summer, staying close to the Lord will not only make you a bright light in people's lives, but it will help you out significantly. He will help you, shape you, guide you, and protect you--always.