Recently, I have learned quite a lot about chemicals and not only their impact on our crops and the environment around them, but the impacts of they have on our bodies. I have changed quite a bit about how I chose to consume--I buy more ethical clothing, eat organic as much as possible, and tried to support local naturally-grown farmers. My next steps were, “what else do I buy a lot of and put in my body?” Tampons!

I looked up different ways to be more sustainable and health-conscious when it came to my menstruation. I looked into fabric pads, reusable tampons and even free-bleeding. Fabric pads seemed pretty reasonable, but I don’t use regular pads to begin with because I don’t find them comfortable. So I researched some more and the best option was Menstrual cups. My mentor this summer told me she also uses one and so do almost all her friends. I decided it was worth a shot!

I continued my research on how menstrual cups work, what brands there are, and all the other million variables I could think of. I was pretty afraid, because sticking something new up your lady bits can be quite nerve-wracking. The Diva Cup (which is the one I had decided on) is roughly $40, which is a little steep for a barely-paid intern, so that also made me pause. Good thing I had about 28 days to really think about it.

In a spur of the moment decision and trip to the motherland, Target, I grabbed the correct cup for me and checked out. Once home, I sat down and read the instruction, and then watched about an hour’s worth of YouTube videos on menstrual cups. Although these women were really calming and understanding, all of them have been using menstrual cups for years. No narrative came from someone using it for the very first time. So, here it is--my first time.

There were a few times while sitting on my bed holding the cup in my hand I thought about chickening out. This little (though quite big in the context of where it was going) cup was causing quite a panic, but ultimately, I invested quite a bit of money in it and decided this was the best choice.

So I stalked into my bathroom armed with the Diva Cup instructional video playing, a fresh pair of period panties (to gauge if I actually put the cup in correctly) and the cup. I bore down (a weird squat and push), and tried to insert it by folding it into a C shape. I did not have beginners luck, and I needed to try it again. This time I was victorious. I don’t think I really did anything different, but this time I was just more persistent.

While sitting in bed watching "Frasier," I felt a sudden POP down there and freaked out for about a minute. Then I realized, that must have been the suction forming. I wasn’t quite sure if the cup had unfolded and twisted into place quite perfectly, but that snap had insured it. When they say it feels like a pop, it feels like a pop. You will know it when you feel it.

I did not leave it in for the full 12 hours because I still don’t feel quite comfortable wearing it to bed. This trip to the bathroom, I felt a little more brazen because I knew if my mom could hear me from her bedroom, she would know what I was doing-- and she is less than enthusiastic about my change in menstrual control. Removing the menstrual cup was a really strange feeling. It wasn’t painful, but it wasn’t my favorite feeling either. I was afraid it would be really messy, but all in all I have had experiences with tampons that were way worse. Even on my first try with the menstrual cup there was no mess.

That is my first experience with menstrual cups. Nothing crazy happened. I didn’t get the thing stuck, nor did I look like Lady Macbeth. I couldn’t feel it once it was in. Also, besides the one time packaging, I have created very little waste and no chemicals are leaching through my tissues.

At the core of feminine hygiene is the message "periods are gross." Though I don't disagree and I am not their biggest fan, I am excited to learn more about my body and cycle. I think the menstrual cup will greatly enhance my understanding of my own body.

See also, my other article on menstruation How to Sync your Period like a Badass Witch. This is turning into a series and I don't know how to feel about that.