With my first semester of college rolling to an end, I've taken some time to reflect on what it's been like. While college has been nowhere near as terrifying as I thought it would be, I probably didn't have to spend weeks crying about the start of it.

However, it's also not a walk in the park. But not for the reasons that extroverts have. For me, a severe introvert, I spend way too much time in my dorm, sitting in a dining hall corner, basically doing anything other than experiencing college. Hours pass by after class ends and I look up from whatever I'm doing, usually nothing, and see the sun has set and with that I get in bed and the cycle repeats.

This got especially worse when the sun began going down earlier and the temperature dropped. A lot of days I'd rather skip dinner than walk to Woodworth in the cold to get Mac and cheese like always. I'd also rather skip dinner than microwave some Mac and cheese if there are people in the kitchenette which I've learned you can check from my dorm window.

I hate going pee or taking a shower or brushing my teeth if there are people in the bathroom. It's not reasonable to be this way, but I am anyway. Do you make conversation with the person standing in the bathroom when you enter? Or do you avoid eye contact? I don't know, it's awkward every single time.

Although clearly dorm life isn't for me, I did make a few good friends through marching band. It's always been the place for me to make friends.

However, now that the season has ended and I only see one or two of them on a weekly basis, it's hard to feel like I've found a group that I can call my second family. I don't go events because I don't have close friends to go with, but it's hard to make close friends if all you do is sit in your room. I've gotten stuck in a bit of a cycle that I'm going to try and spend second-semester breaking.

I've also gotten stuck in comforting routines that feel odd to break. I got to Jamba Juice and got an Apple and Kale smoothie and a waffle after my ten o'clock every Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Dinner on those days is a salad from Noyer because it's on the way back from band practice. These routines have been so set for me this semester that it's weird to think about how I'll have to establish a new routine next semester. Ew.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is college was not quite what I expected and it is myself that has become the only thing keeping me from exploring my options. It's hard for an introvert to find reasons to get out and go anywhere other than home. That explains why I went home almost every weekend this semester. It's taken time to adjust, and I think I'm starting to get the hang of college. However, it'll take awhile for me to break how introverted I am and make a good group of friends.