If he's coming at you with any of these on the first date, he's not worth shit.
1. He is considerably late
Even if it takes him an hour and a half to drive through rush hour traffic to come see you at some specific restaurant, he should put in the effort to be on time. But if he's a block away and still makes you wait 10-15 minutes...it’s a no from me dawg.
First impressions ALWAYS matter.
2. He starts off by saying how busy he is—as if he’s doing you a favor
"I only have an hour to talk."
Me thinking: Should I set a timer then? What am I, some parking meter?
3. He mentions his ex not once, not twice, but THREE times
One reference about her makes you feel awkward hearing about it, but when she becomes a part of every freakin story he's telling you (ex: San Diego is my favorite place because I always used to go see my ex )…honey, he's definitely not over her.
4. He doesn’t text you afterwards
Suurreee, he might be nervous and waiting for you to make that next move but seriously ladies—chivalry isn't dead. If he cared about you after the first date, he will jump on every opportunity to text you on your way back home, during the rest of the night and well into the next morning.
So don’t get heartbroken and start losing your mind over this coward—just delete his number and move on.
5. He assumes everything revolves around his life/interests/major
Him: So like what do you do with your life as a liberal arts major?
Me: I'm actually in the process of writing my own book right now
Him (of course a Bio-Chem major): That's just…so easy compared to what I'm doing in my classes.
6. He thinks having a relationship with you will make everything better
If he talks about how awful school is, how much he hates his friends/social life, dreads waking up every morning to a new day BUT thinks that dating you is going to make everything around him more bearable…um no.
Dating someone shouldn't be stressful or make you feel remorseful for the guy's life. You already have enough shit to deal with—you don't want to have to deal with another person's on top of it.
7. He doesn’t offer to drive you home despite being in a sketchy neighborhood, in the middle of the night, wearing heels, with 20% phone battery and no car
"So you wanna call your Uber before I leave?" - MAJOR NO
“Do you want me to wait for your Uber with you?" - NO
“Hey, if you want I can drive you home but it's cool if you just wanna call an Uber." - MUCH BETTER
8. He takes every opportunity to receive praise
His chest his puffed up high like a bird and all you can do is secretly roll your eyes while he's going off about some accomplishment he made that you just have to know 30 minutes into the conversation. Call it pride. Call it masculinity. I call it a show offfffffff.
9. His appearance is overly well-groomed/neat
Case in point: Here I am, hiking on a first date wearing my dirtiest, worn-out sneakers jumping in mud puddles (I love mother nature) and this dude is out here brushing the dirt off the whitest pair of Air Jordans I've ever seen in my life.
There's a difference between looking good/classy and being overly dressed up/a walking cologne bomb on a first date.
10. You constantly have to figure out if he’s into you
If he's really, truly into you, he will (sometimes) tell you right off the bat. Otherwise, he will just not be playing mind games with you on the first date.
11. He leaves you with a “BYE” and an awkward wave
I mean, I'm not expecting a kiss and a hug on the first date but seriously—are you my guardian dropping me off somewhere? At least have some class to tell me to have a good night.