I have a love for the New Year that fills me with the same giddiness of starting a new book. New Year’s Eve is like picking up the book in your hands and just flipping the pages for that new book smell— you can just feel it in your bones that this is going to be a great one. The rush of the countdown with all with my family around me chanting along with the infamous New Year's kiss.

New Year’s Day is the first chapter that I spend in bed thinking of all the things I should do this new year, but I probably won’t.

This year though, as much as I have to look forward to, there’s also so much in the air with what’s going on politically in the country that this new year has left me feeling dread of what is to come. I’m no longer reading a coming of age or romance book, but one of horror and I’ve never had a taste for the genre, to begin with. I don’t know what to expect and I have no motivation to flip to the last chapter and see what happens in the end because I’m terrified of what the outcome will be.

This is not to say that I’m greeting this new year with negativity, but with an awareness that tomorrow may not be what I expect it to be. I’m bringing in the new year ready and expectant of positive change, and with a promise to not be disappointed at the end. I’ll be testing my limits by pushing myself out of comfort zones that have been deeply rooted since out of high school, but that’s what new years and new semesters are for— clean slates and fresh starts. I know we all like to think “this will be the year” but also follow that up with an “or not,” so it’s time to put words into action.

Every decision we make becomes a part of the book of our lives, but there’s no need to make it to the bestseller list unless that’s your end goal. I for one would like to start off strong and end stronger with an acceptance of the highs and lows that are inevitable in life.

I welcome this new chapter with open eyes and determination for a brighter future and reflection on mistakes that have only provided me with determination and insentive for the new year— let's begin.