I can remember elementary school days when I'd came across the Lost & Found; literally all that I could find was a huge mess. And as this time of the year has approached us, you could say that's exactly how you could describe my university's state of stability: a huge mess.
The infamous end of a academic has approached my university in the usual fashion: draining and a bit chaotic. Almost every student on campus has hit that slump where one is so close to break but has to conquer final exams. And as this time of the year is nothing new to us students, we keep following the same pursuit of habits and pattern of emotions for some reason. We joke the failing grades we expect, plan out our all-nighters for the week, and count the cups of caffeine we’ve taken in. Admittedly, there are students who may not experience some or any of these examples; however, this high-stress college (and even high school) culture is so known that almost any student I know can relate.
I know I am not alone when I say that I have, and still do, struggle with emotional and mental stability when it comes to school and my education--with this, let it be known it not easy keeping one’s sanity intact when their friends and classmates’ sanities are flying out that classroom window. Many students are trying to figure out who or what they can be in this world, which only contributes to the mental anguish developing during this time. The university and it’s organizations try their best at promoting methods of relaxation for us students through this part of the year--yes, these actions are thoughtful but not always beneficial. From personal experience, the moments I "treat myself" are the same moments I feel more guilty, very indulgent, and unworthy of this treatment as I stare at my “imperfect” GPA.
As you read this, you’d probably think my thought process, as well as possibly others’ process, is absolutely terrible but can be very real. Going through this thought process for some time now, however, has helped me defeat this mentality. My grandma, as I was growing up, had always quoted Bobby McFerrin’s song, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” in any situation. It is such an easy concept to understand but is hard in theory. But as her sunshine-like optimism has severely rubbed off on me, I’ve developed my own way of being that careless happy in times like this as she and McFerrin talk about.
As time seems slim, filled with class time, work shifts, and events, my mind becomes unorganized and unsteady: I combat such distress with realizing how lucky I am to have this opportunity and ability to be in these positions and earn or gain something from it. As I approach the nerves I get before I take a test or give a presentation, I remind myself that a single moment doesn’t capture who I am or holistically, will ever be. And as I encounter times where I just need to breakdown in tears, I cherish the people, both professional and personal to me, that are there to support me. I've come to realize that in my weakest moments is where I find where I lost my strength, but they only way to gain it back is recognizing that strength never truly left you.
I’ve become so grateful this first year of college as being away from home has taught me how to be much more cautious and independent. Without the struggles of this year, big or small, I would’ve never been able to understand contentedness--perspective is a power a lot of us forget we possess. We may naturally measure our daily level of stress, but if there was one thing I hope you are able take away and remind yourself of, I hope that it is that stress is not the only thing in your life that you can count, measure, or find.