Finding Yourself Through Fashion

Finding Yourself Through Fashion

Your personal style (or lack there of)

Earlier this year, while trying to find an outfit for some event or another, my roommate pointed out that I had no personal style. I do not remember her exact words, but it was something along the lines of "you wear all different kinds of clothing. Like you don't have your own definite style." As I spun around to defend my closet, I noticed how it changed abruptly from a pair of leather pants to a brightly printed sundress to a pair of ripped jeans to a red, white and blue sweatshirt.

I was devastated, how could someone who loved fashion and shopping and being on trend be as personally un-styled as I was. I resolved to fix this problem by going through my wardrobe, and donating anything that did not adhere to a certain style. Except for when I tried to do this, I could not stick with a certain look. Did I want to look boho-chic in flow tops and short shorts and faux fur vests? Did I want to look edgy in my Timberlands and camouflage tee shirt? But how about classy with over the knee boots and a nice jacket? Or preppy with a nice skirt and some sweet colors? It was literally impossible for me to decide how I wanted to present myself.

This initially stressed me out even more as I felt I was facing an identity crisis. However, I realized that maybe this was not something to be worried about. Perhaps the fact that I could not settle on one style of clothing did not mean that I did not know who I was but rather, that I knew that I could not be contained to one look.

Maybe I liked fashion and knew myself well enough to realize that I did not want to turn down a good sweater or a nice pair of shoes or an opportunity to present myself in a new way by only dressing in one fashion realm. I realized that not having it all figured out and organized was maybe not a sign of a lack of guidance but rather of growth.

I am only 19 years old and I have an entire world of inspiration to look at. Limiting myself to one style would be a disservice to my passion and my personal growth.

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it


Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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