Forever alone, it's a phrase known by many. A feeling felt by most to not all individuals during a period of life or currently. Deep-down inside, we're all forever alone, nobody wants to admit, though. Okay, not everyone, but if I'm talking to you then you understand what's attempting to be said at this moment.
Well, you may wonder, what has stemmed this feeling of being "forever alone", recently. Several days ago, my friend sent me a video she made for her boyfriend as a six-month anniversary gift. As her friend, I watched the video and loved it, I was ecstatic to see my friend in love and happy with her boyfriends. Then, this little feeling inside of my soul slowly erupted as the video concluded, that achy feeling of loneliness.
Loneliness, yes, I feel alone, I am alone, what other words should I use to describe that sensation that runs through your body of never finding to share your time with. Alright, I'm necessarily talking about marriage because, at only twenty-years-old, the world is my oyster, but a significant other, possibly.
Maybe I'm a pessimist, but I never see myself with another individual acquainted and in love. For some odd reason, my brain won't allow those type of thoughts to appear. The other day, I mentioned to a friend that I never really "see" myself anyone, I want to be in a relationship, but I can't imagine it.
Romance, I've been fascinated by the idea of it since I was a young girl in love with The Notebook, which is a stellar movie. Ryan Gosling knows how to steal hearts even as the fictional character of Noah.
Movies and books perceive romance and love as easy and effortless, as if it's possible for anyone, but not me, unfortunately.
A majority of my friends are in happy and cute relationships where they genuinely seem in love and content with their significant others. As they all begin talking about their cute dates and showing pictures, that sense of loneliness sinks in. That sense of being "forever alone" starts to feel incredibly real within.
You know, when you're alone in your bedroom on a Friday night because all your friends are on dates and there's you, dateless and alone.
The intention of this is to not sound as if I'm depressed in any form because everything is okay, no worries Mom and Dad. Also, this is not the time and place to seek pity on me, this just a perfect time to express my thoughts to the issue of being "forever alone".
During the LONG period of being forever throughout my lifetime, I've learned quite a lot about myself. Loneliness is absolutely okay because I've learned to be comfortable with myself as an individual. Independence is important ladies and gents, sometimes loneliness can stem a sense of independence. You don't always need someone around you to feel content in any form and that's just fine.
So, if one day in the future, I end up finding my Noah Calhoun than it's fate. As of now, I'm content being "forever alone".