Finals is the week in which college libraries are flooded with panicked students, many of whom are on the brink of a coffee-infused meltdown. What else could be more fitting than the 1960's classic melodrama, Valley of the Dolls, to tell our story? The glamorous film was infamous due to its glaring portrayal of Hollywood corruption and off-screen drama.
Here are some ways that Valley of the Dolls perfectly depicts finals week.
1. Procrastinating.
Summer is almost here, and you can't stop thinking about all the fun adventures you'll embark on. The only thing that's in your way is finals week. You tell yourself you have plenty of time to prepare and decide to relax instead of studying.
2. Working out to convince yourself that your life isn't a mess.
You realize that you didn't have as much time as you previously thought and notice all the upcoming due dates. Amid all the panic and chaos, you decide to go on a major health kick by attending exercise classes and eating more vegetables, eventually wasting more of your precious time.
3. Going out at night because you need a break from doing nothing.
You receive a message from your friend asking if you're free to go out. You immediately comply and start getting ready. You tell yourself that cramming isn't good for you and you need a break from all the schoolwork. What you don't realize is that your image of "studying" was watching YouTube vlogs while glancing at lecture notes.
4. Cramming in the wee small hours of the morning.
Your exams start tomorrow morning and you need to get down to business. You re-read your lecture notes and nothing is making sense. You drink more coffee and become overwhelmingly nervous.
5. Having a meltdown after failing several practice tests.
You pull all academic resources available with several tabs open on your computer screen. Quizlet, Chegg, StudyCube, Coursehero - the list goes on and on. Despite all the help, you still manage to flunk every practice quiz. Although your body is practically begging you for sleep, you refuse the temptation and keep going.
6. Waking up the morning of your exam delirious and confused.
You sleep for a grand total of four hours and wake up deranged. You're not sure which day of the week it is - good thing you have a planner. You suddenly realize that it is exam day and you quickly start getting ready.
7. Trying to review minutes before the exam, even though you still don't know anything.
You and a classmate, while standing outside of the lecture hall, are hunched over a wrinkly study guide, trying to get in as much information as possible. You play along with the pathetic charade of quizzing each other, regardless of if the answer is correct or not.
8. Watching your friends have fun when you still have exams.
You're exhausted, yet you still can't retire the studying grind, because more tests and assignments await you. You see your friends hanging out at a pool and feel the urge to scream.
9. Asking your professor to bump up your final grade.
After submitting each exam, you decide to make a visit during your professor's office hours to beg for forgiveness. Your sob stories fail to garner any sympathy and you awkwardly say goodbye.
10. Looking at your freshly released scores.
Throughout all the madness and hysterics, you survived finals week. Your professors emailed you with congratulatory messages, saying that your scores have been posted. You quickly glance at your score and feel the need to treat yourself - to a drink.
11. Thinking about the awful conversation you're going to have with your parents on the way home.
So maybe the semester didn't go as smoothly as you had originally hoped. Unfortunately, it'll soon be time for you to face your parents. It didn't help that you got their hopes up with previous promises of academic success. You rehearse your explanation on the way back from campus.