Over the many Holliday and summer breaks that I have had in my lifetime, I have come to realize that unlike most, I do not thrive on relaxation. When I have nothing to do is when I am at my most lethargic and I honestly get pretty moody too. And even when I finally have a small task to do, I can't seem to complete it as it is the only thing on my to-do list, causing me to believe I can procrastinate. It seems as if the lack of importance I feel in my life when I don't have school work (on top of other things) causes my mindset to be overwhelmingly negative and unproductive.

Because I have finally figured out that I function best with a lengthy list of assignments, this summer I decided to fill up almost every day of my break with work, my hobbies, and traveling. Of course, I will have a few days scattered throughout that I won't have anything, but when those days come I will be ready to relax with a Netflix show for a little while. The thing is, when I have so much time and nothing to do, rotating between streaming channels and phone apps becomes almost unbearable for me as I need something important to occupy my mind.

I know this practice is definitely strange for most people, as it is often expected to have that deep longing for endless vacations and free time to binge watch shows. But when I am not busy for long periods of time, it throws me off and makes it hard to get back into a routine once school or work starts back up.

I have plenty of mornings where I am so exhausted from going, going, going. But I also wouldn't have it any other way. When I have more work to do, I tend to be more likely to make time for hobbies, exercising, etc. Which I would not do as efficiently without any time restrictions. When I have a busy schedule, I am more likely to do other extracurriculars because I know there's only a certain time I can do them.

I succeed with schedule and routine. That's how I have been my whole life. My most accomplishing times have been the most stressful. For example, in my freshman year of college, I failed a random mid-semester test because it was the end of the year and I had a lack of assignments, leading me to push off studying. But when chaotic finals season came around, I aced all of my exams. Because I had so many final projects and tests, I stayed productive and got everything done more effectively than when I was studying for just one test!

And it might sound sad that I chose to fill my days with work, I believe this is what will help me in the real world. I am attracted to being slightly overwhelmed. I like to think of it as an adrenaline source you get from being busy, in which you're focus is crystal clear and your time management is impeccable. So I don't regret what some might call "wasting" my summer. I can look back on all of the worthwhile things that I did in the time that I had.