Three days ago I did something I never thought I could ever do, move away from everything I knew to live what has been my dream since sixth grade. Six years ago the thought of coming to Freed-Hardeman University seemed to be nothing more than a dream that would never turn into a reality, but here I am. However, to say these past three days have been the best days of my life would be a lie. My room is quiet, I’m lonely, and with all the practice schedules, everyone is exhausted at the end of the day and hanging out is at the bottom of anyone's “To-do list.” The past three days I have called my parents, boyfriend, and countless family members innumerable times throughout the day to battle what seems to be a never-ending battle of loneliness. Thursday morning as I sobbed at my desk begging to go home and try again later, I realized something that I should have realized Tuesday night when I was left 199 miles from home. I am not alone.
As I grabbed a tissue and began drying my eyes I completely grasped what I had been taught from cradle roll at my home congregation-- I am not alone.I am not alone and will never be alone as long as my heart keeps doing its job. God promised me in Joshua 1:9 that He “is with me wherever I go;” even though all I know is hundreds of miles away, my God is here with me. I am reminded of Esther when she went before the King having to ask for her people's lives to be spared and how much comfort God gave her when she had to feel so alone. She could have DIED, but she decided that she was going to let God be her “rock and her fortress” (Psalm 18:2).
Thursday as my eyes began to dry and the knot in my stomach loosened a tad, I realized I really wasn't alone. God picked me up, brushed me off and said, “Okay, Brooke you can do it this time, but if not, I am right behind you. I promise I won’t let you fall.” Starting in a new place is like learning to walk all over again. You have to crawl a little, but then you pull yourself up. You suddenly get bold and take a few steps that end in loss of balance, but then you walk while holding onto someone's hand for more support. Then you WALK.
To all the Freshman who have moved in or will move in during the coming week: you may start off crawling and think the light at the end of the tunnel is unreachable, but then you stand up, and the sun comes out. You suddenly get the courage to step out of your comfort zone, but you cannot hold your balance on your own. You fall and feel as if you will never feel better and will always be on the bottom, but then you feel someone reach down and pick you up. That is Jesus. He holds your hand every step until you have enough strength to take that first wobbly step on your own.
Things are going to be a little rocky at first, but look who holds your hand. The most awe striking part is, you don't need a phone to call Him, all you need is a heart that loves Him so much and a few minutes to talk. If you ever feel like you're alone, I know how you feel, but that is because Satan has gotten into our heads and dragged us down with him. Don't let Satan confuse you, let God enlighten you. When you feel that lump in your throat, that knot in your stomach, or that tear begin to fall, start praying, and your awesome Father will pick you up and hold you in His arms until He has you pieced back together.
My grandmother looks up quotes all the time when I am feeling down and will send them to me and the one she sent me Thursday is how I would like to close; it read, “Hey little fighter, soon things will be brighter.” Things might be as dark as the night sky right now, but I promise you if the “Son” rose after the “storms,” then you, my friend, can battle this devouring storm of loneliness. Just remember, with our God,you are never ALONE.