We've all had those moments where we ask ourselves if we should speak up for ourselves. We've also had those moments where we question if what we have to say is worth being spoken in the first place. Speaking up is something that somebody cannot do easily. Some would rather not speak up because they essentially think their input isn't important enough to make a big difference. But there are also those who do not speak up because of their fear of confrontation.
Now there's a difference there. Not speaking up because you don't think it's important versus not speaking up because you're scared to speak up. It's one thing if you think what you have to say is not important, but for those who won't speak up because they are scared, there is something you should know. What you want to say could be important, but you are not allowing your voice to be heard because you are hiding behind some type of fear. For these people, speaking up is more stressful that it needs to be, simply because he/she may be afraid of confrontation. In this case, it's the fear of addressing another person about an issue.
The fear of confrontation stops someone from speaking up about things they would want to speak about. It causes one to bottle his/her thoughts up and worry about it constantly. A lot of unnecessary time and energy is spent worrying, which can turn into many other emotions. Essentially, it consumes the most of you. Is it really worth all of that, especially if you're constantly trying to figure out if you should speak up? You're constantly trying to throw hints to the other person to try to speak about it, but you still do not have the strength to speak up about it. It's like the words are just stuck in your throat because a big gulp of fear is right above it.
In the moment, not voicing your thoughts and opinion may sound like the better choice, but in the long run, it creates a lot of unnecessary compliments. Most importantly, why wouldn't you want to speak up about something that is bothering you?
Silence is unfair to others.
Depending on the situation, you may be hiding something really important from the person you want to talk to. You may be trying to figure out what he/she thinks, and at the same time, he/she may be thinking the same as you. Silence doesn't help any of the parties here. It is unfair to you, and most certainly, unfair to the person you are holding it from. How do you expect someone to know what you're thinking if you cannot even speak up for yourself? Communication is key, and silence is a temporary, toxic "solution" to something that is easily solved.
If rejection is why you fear confrontation, remember rejection and failure are both progress in life.
You may be scared to speak up because you don't want your idea or thoughts to be rejected. You may be scared that someone will not agree with you. Maybe this fear of rejection and the after-feeling of rejection is stopping you from speaking up. That's normal in our human nature, but don't forget that without rejection, what is success? Without rejection, how would we know the sense of direction that we want to pursue for success? How would we know what is right and wrong for us if we don't face the wrongs? Rejection is progress, and speaking up for yourself is progress.
Be respectful and kind about it. Learn to converse, not confront. Calm your nerves.
It can be intimidating to approach someone, especially if it is someone that has more authority than you. Or maybe this person has a lot of value in your life. Either way, it's okay to approach them. Learn to be respectful, and learn a manner that you can talk to them as if you're having a regular conversation with them. You do not have to approach them to confront them. There are many ways to talk to someone and speak up for yourself. Do what makes you comfortable, and speak in the tone that you think would be best for the situation. Know what you are speaking up for. Sometimes when we are too nervous speaking up, we tend to say too much because we are so used to holding in our thoughts. As a result, when we speak up, it's like relieving all this pressure on yourself from holding it all this time. Know what you are saying, but don't forget at the end of the day to respect the person you are speaking to.
It's not always easy facing a fear upfront. It's not always easy to leave your comfort zone and do something that you think is risky. It's definitely not easy when you overthink your situation and convince yourself that you shouldn't speak up. But when you calm yourself down and remember these points, it may be easier to just speak up instead of dealing with a domino-effect of not voicing your opinion and concern.
Remember, you have a say. You have an opinion. What you say can matter, but nobody will know that if you don't put significance in your voice.