Hi, I'm Hailey. I mean, obviously you knew that, but it's nice to meet you. At least I think it is. I don't know. I just feel like so many people absolutely hate their therapists because they think they're full of shit ninety percent of the time. I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have said that. I'm sure you're great. That might have been a premature assumption, but we'll go with it. I personally don't feel that way about therapists. I know all you can do is try your best with the information you're given. I bet they don't even give you the full story sometimes. And even if they wanted to, they can't. It's hard to articulate all of the complicated, conflicting, contradicting emotions a person feels. So what are you supposed to do? Read their minds? I bet that's what they wish you would do. They expect so much from you, too much in my opinion. Am I qualified to give opinions here? I don't know, you're the one with the degree.

I usually wear glasses, but today, I wore my contacts because I'm going to cry a lot during this session and I didn't want the tears to stain my lenses. I also didn't put on any makeup because I didn't want it to smudge, not that I wear a lot to begin with. So if you're wondering why I don't have any eyebrows right now, that's why. Do people usually cry when they talk to you? If they don't this will be very embarrassing. I cry very easily. Did you know that I cried when Hiccup's dad died in "How to Train Your Dragon 2"? Well, of course, you couldn't have known that because we've just met and it wasn't part of the information you asked for on the form I had to fill out in the waiting room. Also, sorry for the spoiler.

Honestly, I'm glad I'm here. Personally, I think everyone should see a therapist because frankly, we all suck in one way or another and maybe therapy can help make us suck less. I happen to suck a lot, which is why I'm here. Make no mistake, it wasn't easy for me to come here. But I did it. I suppose that's step one. Actually, step one is admitting you have a problem, isn't it? So maybe this is step two. Regardless, I've wasted enough of our limited amount of time together, and if I want to get through all of my shit we should start the psychoanalyzing now. Wait, give me one more second to appreciate this moment. It's not every day you stand on a precipice feeling the frisson of anxious anticipation as to whether or not you are going to fall or fly. No pressure, though. Okay, I'm ready. Let's begin.