I'm A Feminist Who Happens To Be A Young, Black Male

I'm A Feminist Who Happens To Be A Young, Black Male

Why it shouldn't be a bad thing to have male feminists.

Feminism is defined as the theory of the political, economic and social equality of the sexes. What does that mean in lame man's term? It simply means that women should have the same rights as men. But being a feminist, as I understand it, is not simply wanting equal rights for all on paper, but also put into practice.

I want to clear a few misconceptions about feminists and feminism. First, a man can absolutely be a feminist, so please don't dismiss my views simply because of my anatomy.

Next, is the idea that if you are a feminist then you must hate men. Sorry everyone, but that is false. While some so-called feminists do indeed hate men with every fiber in their bones, not all feminists are like that.

Feminism is not the idea that women want to rule over men, that is called misandry.

Another key misconception is that feminist only deal with women's rights. Once again, some feminists only focus on women's rights, but many cover LGBTQ rights and tackle discriminatory laws. With a few of the misconceptions cleared up, let's dive into why I choose to identify as a feminist.

The history of America is no secret. Even the most basic history textbooks have covered slavery, not to the extent it should, but nevertheless, they were covered. With my ancestors being slaves and previous generations before me fighting for Civil Rights, I believe I have no right to discriminate anyone.

Honestly, no one has the right to discriminate anyone, but blacks have been through so much that willingly hating a group is just horrible. I am not just a feminist because I feel that I have to be. Rather my views on different subjects around the nation and the world just make sense for me not to denounce feminism as a whole.

My purpose for being someone who fights for racial, gender and social equality is because I refuse to sit down and watch my world go to hell. If you want to make this nation better for EVERYONE, then being proactive is a must. I capitalized everyone because wanting to exclude certain individuals is not what I'm about. I am friends with whites, blacks, Hispanics, people who identify as homosexuals, drag queens and I have even befriended someone who is asexual.

This is not to boast about the friends I have.

Believe me, if you knew them then you wouldn't want to boast about them. I tell you this because to understand someone's struggle you have to go out and find out their stories. Remember, I never said you had to become friends, but at least try and understand where they come from.

There are obvious problems that a young, black male in Charleston, South Carolina may face when proclaiming to be a feminist. One is testing my authenticity towards the cause. Some would say that, "Of course it makes sense that you are apart of the Black Lives Matter," but being a feminist is somehow a no-no for a male. Don't worry I can understand how some women may be suspicious of me.

It is the same as a black person being skeptical of a white person wanting to join a BLM protest rally. But, I am proud that my generation is starting to worry least of who helps out to make a change now. To truly bring change in any facet of life, there has to an inclusion of individuals working together.

Being a young, black male is hard enough in our country, but wanting to be outspoken on injustices is an even more dangerous game. That is why I use to be shy about proclaiming to be apart of the BLM movement or being a feminist. Many can attest to the fear of how some may judge you or the repercussions may ensue. It is important to understand that some will disagree, but you cannot worry about those people. If you have a passion for something then you have to follow it.

To end, I am proud of being a supporter in some of the various movements that are taking place in our country. Being a feminist is more than just wanting equal rights for women. It entails LGBTQ rights, the stoppage of discrimination towards people of color and many other important ideals.

I do not want to be in a world, in a country, where I cannot express my beliefs even if they oppose family or friends way of thinking. That is why people who want to stay on the sideline should try and vocalize their opinions. This fight for equality for ALL will not end without the help from people who all have different experiences. I understand some truly cannot express their feelings and I will not condemn for that. So, no need to worry. Millions of others and I will help to be your unheard voice.

Cover Image Credit: Pinterest

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This Is How Your Same-Sex Marriage Affects Me As A Catholic Woman

I hear you over there, Bible Bob.

It won't.

Wait, what?

I promise you did read that right. Not what you were expecting me to say, right? Who another person decides to marry will never in any way affect my own marriage whatsoever. Unless they try to marry the person that I want to, then we might have a few problems.

As a kid, I was raised, baptized, and confirmed into an old school Irish Catholic church in the middle of a small, midwestern town.

Not exactly a place that most people would consider to be very liberal or open-minded. Despite this I was taught to love and accept others as a child, to not cast judgment because the only person fit to judge was God. I learned this from my Grandpa, a man whose love of others was only rivaled by his love of sweets and spoiling his grandkids.

While I learned this at an early age, not everyone else in my hometown — or even within my own church — seemed to get the memo. When same-sex marriage was finally legalized country-wide, I cried tears of joy for some of my closest friends who happen to be members of the LGBTQ community.

I was happy while others I knew were disgusted and even enraged.

"That's not what it says in the bible! Marriage is between a man and a woman!"

"God made Adam and Eve for a reason! Man shall not lie with another man as he would a woman!"

"Homosexuality is a sin! It's bad enough that they're all going to hell, now we're letting them marry?"

Alright, Bible Bob, we get it, you don't agree with same-sex relationships. Honestly, that's not the issue. One of our civil liberties as United States citizens is the freedom of religion. If you believe your religion doesn't support homosexuality that's OK.

What isn't OK is thinking that your religious beliefs should dictate others lives.

What isn't OK is using your religion or your beliefs to take away rights from those who chose to live their life differently than you.

Some members of my church are still convinced that their marriage now means less because people are free to marry whoever they want to. Honestly, I wish I was kidding. Tell me again, Brenda how exactly do Steve and Jason's marriage affect yours and Tom's?

It doesn't. Really, it doesn't affect you at all.

Unless Tom suddenly starts having an affair with Steve their marriage has zero effect on you. You never know Brenda, you and Jason might become best friends by the end of the divorce. (And in that case, Brenda and Tom both need to go to church considering the bible also teaches against adultery and divorce.)

I'll say it one more time for the people in the back: same-sex marriage does not affect you even if you or your religion does not support it. If you don't agree with same-sex marriage then do not marry someone of the same sex. Really, it's a simple concept.

It amazes me that I still actually have to discuss this with some people in 2017. And it amazes me that people use God as a reason to hinder the lives of others.

As a proud young Catholic woman, I wholeheartedly support the LGBTQ community with my entire being.

My God taught me to not hold hate so close to my heart. He told me not to judge and to accept others with open arms. My God taught me to love and I hope yours teaches you the same.

Disclaimer - This article in no way is meant to be an insult to the Bible or religion or the LGBTQ community.

Cover Image Credit: Sushiesque / Flickr

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The Gun Control Debate Comes Down To The Power Of God

My opinion on two parts to the most, in every sense of the word, "loaded" issue.

There are a plethora of difficult issues in a Christian's life, and despite what it looks like on social media and mainstream media, gun control is high on that list. It pains me to see such a divide on this issue. Liberals are painted as children who want to give up all their rights, while conservatives are seen as idiots who value guns more than human life. And Christian conservatives are seen as hypocritical Pharisees, not unlike the Nazis.

But we all know, at least I hope we all know, that this isn’t the case for either side. We all love our families, and we all cherish life. We all prefer a world where murder doesn’t exist or at least a world where mass murders don’t exist. We all want a world where our children, siblings, friends, and parents can live safely

So, what gives? If we value the same things, why are we so divided on gun control? The answer, I believe, has more layers and more depth than I could ever hope to understand, let alone write about. But I can share my own thoughts and concerns on the issue in hopes that it is a positive, edifying contribution to the dialogue.

There are two main parts to the gun control debate that most social media posts can be divided into: Gun Control Laws, and the reason for gun control. What I mean by Gun Control Laws tends to either challenge or support certain claims like “more guns= more deaths.” The second part, the reason for gun control, asks why school shootings and general acts of terrorism are happening in an attempt to answer if gun control is even needed. I think the reason why communication on this topic is so difficult is that people are often arguing on these different parts of the same topic. So, I hope my own thoughts, or rambling at this point, can help with the general discussion, even if it’s just a Conservative Christian’s (note: not a conservative that’s also a Christian) opinion on Gun Control.

The first issue, the gun control laws, is that the gun control debate is not about gun control, and it’s not about guns. I’m talking about the debate itself, the “dialogue” surrounding gun control. I think a gun control debate would look into methods and strategies of gun control. It assumes a bipartisan agreement that gun control is actually needed, which we haven’t reached, at least, not on a mass level.

Rather, the debate is about us: the people who are gunned down, the people that witness the deaths of friends and family, the people that hear about the tragedy on the news or social media, the people that want to do something. It is also about the people that seemingly don’t want to do something. It is also about the people who shoot other people, the people who go on shooting sprees in schools and other public places. The issue is about an enormous, democratic nation that is split on almost every topic, like a Giant with feet that does not want to walk in the direction its walking, arms that does not want to hold the things its holding, and a head that plans out things it does not want to plan out.

But the solution isn’t somehow forcing half of the individual body to a restriction or code. The United States isn’t a single body, it’s a group of people divided into 50 states, each with their own restrictions, which are at least just as strict as any overarching restriction. And in each state, there are municipalities. This is good because individual people are different! And oftentimes, people in a certain area tend to think alike, or agree on the same ideas.

It feels like people forget that there are stricter gun laws on the state level than the Federal level. For example, Minnesota has gun restrictions on the mentally challenged. If one feels those restrictions aren’t sufficient, one could work on changing the local, or state laws. In fact, it might be easier to work on the local and state level rather than the federal level.

The second issue, which is the reason for gun control, isn’t about us. It’s about God. The United States might work like some form of democracy, but any leader or government was placed there by God, and even they are subject to the authority of God.

But this doesn’t mean God is okay with the murderous lashes of people. God is very much against murder. He is against any form of action that places a person in the seat of the Judge. By judge, I mean defining actions, or cases, according to one’s own prescription, for example, the judge of who lives and who dies, who steals and who’s robbed, who’s to be loved and who’s to be hated… the judge of who’s judge and who isn’t judge, the judge of who’s God and who isn’t God.

Sadly, there are people who do play Judge, like the Parkland shooter, or the Santa Fe shooter, or even myself. To think that I’ve never judged in one way or another is a lie. I do it every day. But admitting that society is filled with self righteous people doesn’t solve anything, it won’t solve mass shootings, it won’t stop sin. The lamentations of the Teacher in Ecclesiastes comes to mind, “Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity.”

What I’m trying to say is that whether or not we have strict gun control, loose gun control, or no gun control, we won’t be any better off. The United States in 1918 wasn’t any better then than it is now in 2018. Horrors have been performed now that the people then could never imagine. And people then practiced things that were so horrible, we riot against them a century later.

I think my conclusion, then, would come from Ecclesiastes, “Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.”

But I’ll also tack on a line from Paul’s letter to the church in Rome, “...God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” We can work hard to make this world a better place by pushing for stricter gun control, by lobbying for or against issues, and by protesting for what we believe in. But the most we can ever do is pray.

Cover Image Credit: Photo by Heather Mount on Unsplash

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