I am nothing but amazed at the way feminism has evolved in the last few years. It was such a dirty word when I first started to self-identify back in college. People still viewed it as man-hating and bra burning and they didn’t want to take the time to actually understand its constructs.

For me, the best part of feminism has been finding other people that share my voice and helping the men in my life find their version of feminism. This has been especially true for my relationships.

Can feminism exist in a heterosexual relationship? ABSOLUTELY!

For some reason, there’s this notion that in order to be a feminist, chivalry has to go out the window as well as gender roles.

While you definitely don’t want there to be gender enforced roles, it’s OK to assign roles to one another. Which begs the question, “What is your role?”

I think the biggest divide in feminist relationships is money.

Is it OK to let the man buy you dinner? Should you be buying his dinner? Should you be splitting the tab?

These are all questions I have asked myself over the years, and while there’s no correct answer, there are answers for certain situations.

I have been in relationships where we’ve divided the tabs evenly, and I’ve been in relationships where the guy paid for everything all the time. Now, I’m in a relationship where we each take turns buying for each other.

Every situation was different and there were reasons behind it.

I previously dated someone who made nearly three times my salary. It was because of this difference that he chose to pay for everything. I always offered and made many attempts to slide my card on the bill before he could, but he just wouldn’t have it.

We had long discussions about it and agreed that if I was the one who made three times his salary, he would happily let me foot the bill. It had nothing to do with it being his role as a male, rather it was because it did not put him in a financially desperate situation to take care of things, where it would have certainly impacted me to cover things.

As a feminist, I try my hardest to advocate for even playing fields.

I want my guy to feel appreciated and taken care of just as much as they take care of me. I love buying gifts and surprising them just as much as I love receiving gifts!

True feminism in a relationship will look like an even partnership. It’s taking turns paying for things or even just driving. Maybe using your car and gas instead of his or staying the night at his place instead of yours.

It’s going back and forth between the two and not expecting the other person to baby you all the time.

As a feminist, it makes me feel extremely uncomfortable to have someone just buying me things all the time or trying to baby me. It makes me feel like I’m losing my independence.

In a relationship, there should be equal parts of being spoiled and babied and spoiling and babying your partner.

Even if they make more money than you, don’t expect them to just cover everything. Maybe they’ll pay a little more often than you, but you should definitely be putting in the effort to make them feel appreciated.

Buy them gifts, cook them dinner, offer to drive. Do something to show that you appreciate every bit of what they’re giving you and don’t expect it just because you’re the woman.

And if you’re the woman making two or three times their salary, pick up the tab! This is 2018, and if I made that much more than my guy, I’d for sure be spending it on him!

The best feeling in the world is getting to give someone something. Even if that something is a milkshake. My guy is all smiles and appreciation no matter what!

Everything should be a partnership.

Don’t expect your guy to do all the yard work or fix everything. Communicate with each other and divide things up. Find out what you’re both comfortable and capable of doing. And be a team player!!

That boy is 100 percent capable of doing the laundry and dishes and he can heat something up for dinner! I am SO over these assigned “roles.”

I was not born to be a housewife. No way, no how.

That is perfectly fine for the awesome women and FEMINISTS that love doing that, but it should never be expected.

At the end of the day, go with what you’re comfortable with. Just always be fair.

That’s what feminism is anyway!! EQUALITY!!

BRB tagging my guy in this…