It took me a while to really embrace my body. I remember being 13-years-old on a local swim team and comparing myself with the way others look. I thought, for whatever reason, the reason why I wasn't good at sprinting had to do with my body type. In reality, I just wasn't the best at sprinting.
I didn't understand why I didn't have this stick skinny body. I played sports, I worked out, and I tried my best to eat the right things. Sure, I might have slipped up here and there by having a Pepsi. Sue me.
I also always felt discouraged when I would go shopping in high school. I never understood why some clothing stores never had anything in my size. Don't even get me started on dress shopping for homecoming. That was the worst, and my mother can vouch on that one. It just always seemed like nothing fit me, and it was hard to feel confident when I always had a tendency to buy things a size too big.
In the grand scheme of things, I quickly learned that jean sizes depend on the store. And the reason why that cute shirt does not fit me is because of my breast size, not because of how fat I am.
It wasn't until college I really felt happy with my appearance. I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) at the beginning of my senior year of high school, which explained why I was on the heavier side when it comes to weight. However, other than that, I am healthy. The only thing setting me back is the occasional flu I catch from my roommates.
Maybe the other boost in my confidence is that for the first time, I have people who hype me up. I use to always be the hype man for people because I always tried taking care of others before taking care of myself. People came to me when they were feeling low about themselves, so I would disregard how I was feeling to make sure they were okay because I thought that was something friends do. It isn't though when you don't get that kind of treatment back.
College is an overall game changer. It was the clean slate I needed to finally escape the negativity I was surrounded by for four years, and could finally embrace who I am.
The best part of it all is that I have people supporting me every step of the way.
So yes, I may be that curvy girl who wears a size 14/16 jean and either a large or extra large shirt. There is nothing wrong with that because I look pretty damn good doing it.