For the longest time I kept repressing my emotions, believing that it would make me stronger when dealing (new word) with situations in which I felt vulnerable and weak.

Surprise! That doesn't work so well.

As someone who is passionate about psychology and mental health, I thought that I would be okay with expressing emotions and healing others' pains. I always say I'm a great listener, and I believe that would ring true if you were to ask any of my friends. I love to give my opinion (who doesn't), but also make my friends think about the other side of a situation, maybe even something they haven't thought of before (that makes me happy, when they DO take my advice--maybe I'm narcissistic?).

However, when it comes to my own emotions (oh yes, it's another one of those articles I'm writing), I can't figure them out. I can't tell someone how I feel sometimes because I need to actually think and process it all (sometimes I write scripts in my head to try to do that).

I've been working on my feelings and thoughts and life and emotions for so long, yet I still can't place them in the correct boxes. I can acknowledge how I feel in a situation, maybe dust off a shelf and place that feeling up high, somewhere I can't reach, mainly because I don't want to think about how I feel right then and there. Although, that doesn't help when everything comes tumbling down.

I think that's where my fault is. I don't let myself feel, so everything becomes overpowering when I DO need to figure out what's going on in a situation. And that's not really conducive to my health as a person.

One of my best friends says I am not good at showing affection. I think that's false because I do....when I want to. I also don't show affection because I see it as a vulnerability. There have been plenty of times when my feelings haven't been reciprocated, so I keep things deep down until I can't anymore. And therein lies the problem.

I think it's going to take more time for me to show my vulnerability (I don't even like saying this word), and I think it's going to take the right people to be there for me and support me when I do want to show it. I know I'm a kind and generous and loving person, I just need to believe myself first.