The pressure married couples face to bear children
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Sometimes I Wish I wasn't married

A story of the intense pressure placed on married couples to bear children.

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Sometimes I Wish I wasn't married

I love my husband, dearly. I thank God for him every day, but sometimes, I wish I wasn't married.

Why? Because then I wouldn't have to explain why we don't have any children. People wouldn't ask "when are you having kids?" ALL. THE. TIME.

People wouldn't ask us that if we weren't married, because that's not a question you ask to couples who are just dating. It seems like everyone just assumes that as soon as you say "I do" you're supposed to start producing children. I don't believe that those who ask this question are intending to do harm, but the truth is that it can, and does, cause harm.

I can't even begin to imagine the way that others who can't have children, are trying to, or don't want to, must feel when they are asked this question. But, I do know how I feel.

I'm tired of being polite, especially to people who ask multiple times (and when I've explained our reasons for waiting multiple times.) So let me be raw with you for a second,

It's not any of your damn business.

Yes, that seems like a very loaded response. And it is. But here's why.

I love kids. LOVE kids. So yes, we do want kids. Just not now.

I understand that having children is wonderful and that you just want me to experience it for myself, and so do I. Just not now.

While you are excited to meet our babies, I'm even more excited. You see, I haven't met my babies yet. They haven't even been formed in my womb, but I love them more than you can imagine. Sometimes I cry because I can't hold them in my arms just yet. Seeing their father (who I don't ever actually wish to not be married to, for clarification) interact with little ones fills my heart with joy, because I know he's going to be a great father, and it makes it that much harder to wait.

Yes, I want them now, I love them now, but we'd like to wait awhile.

I'd like to finish college, complete my student teaching, and find a good teaching position. We'd also like to have a house instead of a tiny apartment. I'm not saying you can't raise a baby that way, because you can still raise a baby while being in school or not having a house, but we know waiting until we reach our goals will be easier for us.

Someday I will kiss their sweet faces and cherish holding them, but that time is not now.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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