The pressure married couples face to bear children
Start writing a post

Sometimes I Wish I wasn't married

A story of the intense pressure placed on married couples to bear children.

Sometimes I Wish I wasn't married

I love my husband, dearly. I thank God for him every day, but sometimes, I wish I wasn't married.

Why? Because then I wouldn't have to explain why we don't have any children. People wouldn't ask "when are you having kids?" ALL. THE. TIME.

People wouldn't ask us that if we weren't married, because that's not a question you ask to couples who are just dating. It seems like everyone just assumes that as soon as you say "I do" you're supposed to start producing children. I don't believe that those who ask this question are intending to do harm, but the truth is that it can, and does, cause harm.

I can't even begin to imagine the way that others who can't have children, are trying to, or don't want to, must feel when they are asked this question. But, I do know how I feel.

I'm tired of being polite, especially to people who ask multiple times (and when I've explained our reasons for waiting multiple times.) So let me be raw with you for a second,

It's not any of your damn business.

Yes, that seems like a very loaded response. And it is. But here's why.

I love kids. LOVE kids. So yes, we do want kids. Just not now.

I understand that having children is wonderful and that you just want me to experience it for myself, and so do I. Just not now.

While you are excited to meet our babies, I'm even more excited. You see, I haven't met my babies yet. They haven't even been formed in my womb, but I love them more than you can imagine. Sometimes I cry because I can't hold them in my arms just yet. Seeing their father (who I don't ever actually wish to not be married to, for clarification) interact with little ones fills my heart with joy, because I know he's going to be a great father, and it makes it that much harder to wait.

Yes, I want them now, I love them now, but we'd like to wait awhile.

I'd like to finish college, complete my student teaching, and find a good teaching position. We'd also like to have a house instead of a tiny apartment. I'm not saying you can't raise a baby that way, because you can still raise a baby while being in school or not having a house, but we know waiting until we reach our goals will be easier for us.

Someday I will kiss their sweet faces and cherish holding them, but that time is not now.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments