Loneliness in college
Start writing a post
Student Life

To The Girl On A Campus Of 10,000 People Feeling More Alone Than Ever

I know what it feels like to want to disappear.

941
To The Girl On A Campus Of 10,000 People Feeling More Alone Than Ever

I'm jealous of every laughing face I see when I walk into the flames of the fire that is college. I've sat by myself at dining halls enough to know that hearing the conversations others have while walking past me is what digs my grave further. The loneliness itself of only hearing my own thoughts everyday while everyone else is hearing a welcoming hello, is what has only made my heart hurt more.

This is what it's like to be lonely.

Crowded spaces are only hunting grounds for your anxiety to come onto the scene and swallow your everlasting hope. The friends you thought you once had are actually only figments of your imagination because if they were real friends, you'd never really be alone. You sit by yourself, act like you're talking to someone on your phone, and tell yourself time after time that it'll all be okay because at least for the moment no one is bothering you.

This is what it's like to be lonely.

You go back to your dorm room and you sink swiftly into the solace of your comforter so no one else can see the tears falling down your face. You cover up the knot in your throat with pills and more cough syrup until your own cognition has turned down and you're asleep. At least when you're asleep the loneliness is a dream instead of your real life.

This is what it's like to be lonely.

Every group of people that walk by your room laugh to each other the whole way down the hallway while you're sitting in the darkness of your bed because you're scared to try. You do homework on the fifth floor of the library in a small room so that no one bothers you because it's the rule that you're not allowed to talk. Day after day you dream of someone making you feel worthy of being alive, but the reality is that maybe you're not worthy to be alive at all.

This is what it's like to be lonely.

After a certain time of being lonely, people start noticing your distance from them and they reach out. You continue getting further away from them for fear of getting hurt again, but you still decide in the end to let them in. After awhile you wished you wouldn't have and you pick the broken pieces of yourself off the floor. You go back to distancing everyone and not speaking to anyone.

This is what it's like to be lonely.

After awhile of spending days not speaking to anyone, you wonder if the world would ever miss you if you left it. You begin seeing the friend groups without you in it. You begin seeing an empty chair in your classrooms you once sat in. You begin hearing conversations without real mention of your name because you believe wholeheartedly that you don't exist in the minds of others. After all, if you did exist then maybe someone would've noticed.

This is what it's like to be lonely.

Loneliness is scary. To the person reading this, the words themselves may be scary. But this is reality. Days go by and I feel nothing but alone and easily replaceable by every person in my life. I see situations without me in it and I can clearly see the simplicity of nothingness. To the person reading this, you may be feeling lonely, but I want you to know that I feel loneliness right now too. And maybe since we're both feeling lonely, we can come together and feel alive once again.

Maybe that's what we deserve.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

49109
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

31214
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

954965
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

180251
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments