Have you ever sat there and just felt like nothing? And I don't mean that you feel like nothing because you know there's some potential somewhere in you, but you just are nothing. Like everything you do should have a purpose, and you can tell people that purpose, but you just can't seem to fully grasp it because you aren't fully there. You're just moving and trying to find the little things to keep you from getting to the point of feeling like nothing. Some days are a lot harder than others, though. Some days you're fine, finding happiness and love all around you. But other days, you just feel like a burden. Other days you sit there and wonder why you are trying to hold on. You look at the people that made you feel safe and loved yesterday, or two weeks ago or two years ago, and think: They don't really care. Look at them. They're just being nice to you. Maybe you should just walk away and not make them feel obligated to deal with you.

As soon as the thought crosses your mind you might shut it out and remember that they're actually there for you, or you might sit on it for a while till something else distracts you. You don't like to admit it, but these come up more often then you admit to anyone. And it's not death you welcome, although if you're like me you've thought of it before, it's merely the thought of welcoming the nothing and disappearing. Not being anyone's burden anymore. Not forcing people to talk with you, not forcing people to sit with you, not forcing people to be in your small life. You'd just disappear and they'd just forget. Forever just memories.

But for now you sit there and try not to think these thoughts and keep going for now, finding the rhythm you've grown used to. You talk to the people in your life and keep going on the path you created. Walking through life, lost but still going.