Some people say that fear is something to dread - that it causes one to worry and become stressed. I have faced fear in its many forms throughout my life. Fear of the one in front of me - fear of what is to come - fear of the unknown. But never have I stopped to ponder if this fear is actually the fear that we commonly refer to.
Fear by definition is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous and likely to cause pain or a threat. This definition, however, is not what I feel when I am afraid. The fear that I feel is distance - distance from the Father, distance from the important things in life - prayer, studying the Word, loving those around me.
Lately, I have been afraid that I will no longer be able to continue going to Taylor University, an expensive private Christian college. I go through endless nights of tears and anger, but this fear continues to encompass me. We are told from a young age that fear is bad - dangerous. We are told not to watch scary movies or tell ghost stories because we will become afraid. I began to tell myself that I could not be afraid of my future - wouldn't that mean I was disobeying God? As a Christian, aren't I supposed to be unafraid of what is before me?
Absolutely not. Christians and non-Christians ask the same questions: Will I be able to continue school? Will I be able to pay off the thousands of dollars of school loans? Will I be able to find a job, a house, a cheap car payment? All of these things can be classified under fear, but none of these are a threat.
Some may see fear as a negative, but I don't. I can't. Fear to me has always been something that pushed me toward God. When I begin to feel the most afraid, I also feel the most loved. The grace of God completely surrounds me in these moments. Why? When we are afraid we begin searching for something to comfort and calm us. So many aspects of my life distract me from God - work, school, relationships, family. They cloud my mind and sometimes leave no space for God. But when I am afraid, those aspects cannot calm me spiritually. My parents can comfort me with their words, but the Holy Father comforts me with His embrace. When I am afraid, I become closer to Him. Having this fear reminds me to go to the Father with my troubles. It reminds me that He will never allow fear to overtake me. It reminds me that God is in control.
Fear can become dangerous, but it is not dangerous in nature. It forces us to push away the distractions of our lives and focus on the issue in front of us. It forces me to see God and to realize that He has been waiting on me to run to Him.
Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you."