I'm Not The Favorite Child And I Know It

I'm Not The Favorite Child And I Know It

I may not have been my mom's favorite child but it's okay because I know that I am loved, no matter what.
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Growing up, I never felt less loved than my brother but I knew he was my mom's favorite. It was never said but it was just a feeling I had. We were treated differently and my mom would give excuses saying that it was because "I was a girl" that I couldn't do the things my brother did. I would get in trouble for doing the same EXACT thing as my brother but I would get punished, where he wouldn't even get punished at all.

The thing is, they were close. There was a bond they had that my mom and I didn't have. There was this tangible connection they had. She had my brother first for three years and then I came along. A complete accident. I was never supposed to happen and sometimes, I felt that. I knew that I was not a planned child. My mom was happy with one son, whom she loved more than life itself. He caused her to want better for herself, not me. He was the golden ticket and I was an "Oh, shit."

I was dubbed the bad child because when I was young I made up stories. My imagination got me into trouble and though most of the time my stories weren't true, sometimes they were and I got accused of lying. The girl who cried wolf and I was the girl who cried wolf. Despite doing everything in my power from age 12 and higher to remove that image of myself, I failed. Even now as a grown adult, who believes in telling the truth (even if it hurts someone), gets blamed for childhood mistakes that my brother does not get blamed for. It's a double standard because "boys will be boys right?"

But girls who are mischievous and intelligent, oh boy, do they get a bad rep. It's healthy for boys but wrong for girls and I hate that hypocrisy. Fun fact about me: I never used drugs, I don't drink (even though I'm of age), and I never committed a crime but I'm the bad child. My brother, whom I love and respect, has done some "bad" things. But that was just what boys did and even though I didn't do what he did, I got blamed for innocent childhood mistakes that all kids make, where he did not.

It hurts knowing that you aren't number one but I know my mom loved me. I just wasn't my brother. I don't resent my brother, though some would think I do. If anything, I am happy that he was showed love and affection in more profound ways than me. No one ever said that my mom's favorite was my brother but it was just something I could see. It was not blatant but I was more observant than anyone thought. I saw the difference. I felt the difference.

My brother's needs were always more important than mine but that's because he was older. "He was first so he came first," is what she said. I knew better though. My brother was perfect in my mother's eyes and if he did something wrong then he was just "being a boy." If I was caught doing something wrong, I was terrible and had ulterior motives, instead of just innocent childhood mischief. I was a bad child who only wanted the worst things to happen. My mom said I was untrustworthy and a liar. The rumors spread though my family and soon I was the delinquent. The dumbest thing was when I was being accused I would just cop to doing whatever I was being blamed for instead of being yelled at. I would say anything to get my mom to stop accusing me. The truth is, I only did about a quarter of the things I was accused of. Did I cut the cats whiskers when I was like 6? Yeah, but I was just a child and it gets thrown up to me all the time, even to this day. Did I give the dog blue juice? Sure, but it wasn't out of malice, instead it was me (as a child) trying to give the dog variety. I didn't know it was bad for him, I just thought it must suck to only ever drink water.

I am a favorite to someone though. I am my Nan's favorite. It may be wrong but I just know I hold a special place in her heart. She helped me, trusted me and loved me, when no one else would. Even when my mom had skewed my brother's opinion about me, casting the shadow of a liar onto me that I still haven't escaped. Nan was the only one who truly listened to me and knew the truth. All I wanted was someone to hear me and the things I had to say. Nan did, she listened to my mundane stories about school and my boring life. She listened to me complain about my mom casting me as a terrible person and how badly I really was being bullied at school. She knew I wasn't a liar. She cared about my words. I always knew my Nan cared, without a doubt. So while I wasn't my mom's favorite, I am my Nan's and honestly, that works so much better for me because Nan is my favorite person too. I love her more than anyone can understand. I may not have been my mom's favorite child but it's okay because I know that I am loved, no matter what.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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14 Fraternity Guy Gifts Ideas, Since He Already Has Enough Beer

Frat boys are a species of their own and here are some exciting gifts they will be ecstatic to receive!

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What more do frat boys love than alcohol, partying, and just acting stupid? Here are some gifts that help fulfill all of those needs for the frat boy in your life!

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Whats better than one beer? Six beers! This fashionable camouflage accessory can be used for tailgates, beach days, formals and everything in between.

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2. Phone juul holder 

You know those cardholders everyone sticks on the back of their phones? Well, now a Juul holder for your phone is on the market! This will save your favorite frat boy from ever again losing his Juul!

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3. Animal house poster 

This Animal House poster is a classic staple for any frat boy. This poster will compliment any frat house decor or lack thereof.

Price: $1.95

4. The American Fraternity book

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5. Beer pong socks 

These snazzy socks featuring beer pong will be loved by any frat boy. As for the way to any frat boy's heart may, in fact, be beer pong.

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6. Condom case

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Please note that prices are accurate and items in stock as of the time of publication. As an Amazon Associate, Odyssey may earn a portion of qualifying sales.

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To The Parent Who's Always Yelling At Their Child, There Are Better Parenting Techniques

When they need help or someone there for them, you become the last person they go to, because they are afraid all you're going to do is yell.

kru
kru
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Dear Parent,

Adulting is hard. There are so many tensions and responsibilities. You have to figure everything out and there is no running away. And sometimes, things just keep adding up and life becomes overwhelming. You become frustrated and all these feelings build up in your system, and then BAM. Everything just comes out on your child. They do one small thing wrong or mess up something, and you blow up. You yell so much not only because you are mad at your child for what they did, but also you get all your frustration out from the other things bothering you.

You might feel better after letting everything out, but have you ever thought about your child? Especially, if this yelling happens on a normal basis. Do you know how much this affects your child?

Well, I'm assuming no if you continue to do so.

Your child is an easy target. Clearly, they do not have much power. They live under your roof and are financially dependent on you. If they speak up, you can quickly shut them up by saying they need to stop talking back to you. Pretty much, you can say whatever you want to them, and they can't really do anything about it. But the effect all the yelling has on them is beyond what you can imagine.

First, they become scared of you. I'm sorry, you might enjoy that power, but that is literally creating a rift in your relationship with them. When your child is scared of you, they don't tell you things. When they need help or someone there for them, you become the last person they go to, because they are afraid all you're going to do is yell. They will only push you away and as years go on, they will become more and more distant.

Second, all the yelling impacts your child's personality. They become scared to make mistakes. And, that not only prevents them from trying new things, but that also makes them rethink their normal activities and forces them to be extra careful about the smallest things. In addition, when you tell them to "stop talking back" when they are only speaking up for themselves, they shut down their voice not only in front of you but in front of others too. They become timider and that affects them in the long run.

So please stop yelling at your child to get your frustration out. Find a new way to deal with your anger, but don't put it out on your child. It might help you in the short run, but it affects them negatively in the long run.

kru
kru

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