I have been spurred to write about this topic after seeing a post by Demi Lovato in which she claims to have rediscovered her self-confidence after previously being self-conscious about her body. I thought that sounded great until I read the comments and realized that people were tearing her apart for “not actually being fat”. Allow me to set the record straight on what “being fat” is:
Fat isn’t like your height or your BMI. It isn’t a number that can be measured or a ratio that can be calculated. Fat is more like bliss or depression – it’s a feeling that you can get lost in. You may not be fat, but you can feel fat. And it goes in both directions. That’s the reason some curvier individuals are comfortable with their bodies while thinner individuals are still starving themselves. They either do or don’t feel fat.
I want to stress that this isn’t just an issue concerning women. It’s typically portrayed as a female issue because, for some reason, body-shaming women is more acceptable than body-shaming men. However, a feeling can be felt by anyone. And this feeling revolves around standards and preferences, which exist for everyone.
This isn’t an idea that sprung out of nowhere; it’s because of all the supermodels used in advertisements. It’s because of Barbie’s and other dolls that girls grow up with. It’s because of the stress put on the “perfect” image made by prospective partners.
When did we become a society that gets off by demeaning one another? Why is our first thought in the comments section usually a negative one? You can’t constantly spread criticism and still expect the world to become a better place to live. And why are you even doing it? Life isn’t a competition and putting someone down for the way they look (not just in regard to weight) isn’t going to help you come out on top.
So, stop body-shaming people and especially stop body-shaming women. Why is it alright that Justin Bieber can post a completely naked picture but Demi Lovato gets criticism while showing much less? Women are no longer malleable things to be molded and shaped and put on a podium. We are hard-working, self-driven, and intellectual individuals. We are not here to please you. And we are certainly not here to be criticized by you.
A message to everyone, the tall and the small: stop being so mean to each other. Compliment someone on how they look today. Write a nice comment on a picture. And stop being so mean to yourselves. You are your harshest critic. Focus on being happy and healthy and don’t change because you think other people want you to.