A Fast Food Love Story

A Fast Food Love Story

Valentine's Day has never been so GREASY
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So in my head, as a child, I always kind of just ASSUMED that Dairy Queen and Burger King were dating. Blame it on my exposure to disastrous heteronormativity when I was younger, or call it a way for my then less developed brain to rationalize why these two establishments existed, EITHER WAY, the facts don’t change. They were dating.

One was dairy, delicious desserts and such, and the other was burgers, the main entree. Made enough sense at the time. However, what did not make any sense was assuming that Burger King would ever be the actual KING of all the other fast food joints that existed. I had plenty of other favorites and definitely personally believed their food was not hitting the mark.

Thus (ayyee where my language ppl), I began to search for answers. What did it all mean? The vast imaginary playground that was fast food hierarchy. I had to know, so I created my own reality.

I decided that Dairy Queen and Burger King were a thing ONCE UPON A TIME, but for sure broke up because Burger King basically became a deadbeat dad to their child: McDonald's. And as we all know, McDonald's is the most widespread fast food chain in the world other than Subway, but I think we can agree McDonald's is perceived as more ubiquitous.

This story made sense to me because kids who experience extreme absence in their life, such as McDonald's, can actually be motivated to achieve more because of this. Whether it be by circumstance or a natural ability to persevere, McDonald's pushed through the absence of Burger King and even surpassed it in relevance and quality (the fries especially).

However, Dairy Queen was still young and didn’t want to live the rest of her franchise alone. Luckily, once Dairy Queen had a location in Columbus, Ohio... she met Wendy(s). So, despite much pushback from her conservative grandfather, Colonel Sanders (KFC), Dairy Queen and Wendy’s started a franchise-long relationship together.

They even adopted a child, Taco Bell.

Because I was a child I really didn’t get past the McDonald’s portion of the story when I was 10 before I moved on to think about some other random garbage, but I like this version better.

Maybe you have a conspiracy theory as well? Who knows, just don’t go out on a date to any of these places this Valentine’s Day. Unless you’re alone, then definitely go to all of them and purchase each’s respective best menu item and have yourself a buffet.

You deserve it.

Cover Image Credit: Sketchport

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What more do frat boys love than alcohol, partying, and just acting stupid? Here are some gifts that help fulfill all of those needs for the frat boy in your life!

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3. Animal house poster 

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4. The American Fraternity book

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Please note that prices are accurate and items in stock as of the time of publication. As an Amazon Associate, Odyssey may earn a portion of qualifying sales.

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7 Goofy Food Combos That May Or May Not Actually Be Good

Let's start experimenting!

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There are tons of individuals all over the world who eat different foods that we aren't super familiar with. But there are some wacky combos that some of our close friends eat regularly that need to be brought to light. So I asked around and these are some of the weirdest foods my friends are eating together.

1. Cheez-it crackers and cream cheese

I actually eat this one and it's pretty good, it's just like dip.

​2. Pickles and honey

This sounds actually disgusting and I don't know who in their right mind would eat these things together.

​3. Eggs and ketchup

Not the most disgusting thing on this list but ehhh.

​4. Pickles and peanut butter

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This option comes off as something only a pregnant person would eat.

​5. Butter and sugar sandwiches

My grandma eats these, but I would have to be prettttty drunk before I made one of these for myself.

​6. Popcorn and buttermilk

My crazy roommate sophomore year of college used to pop a bag a popcorn and pour buttermilk over it like cereal????

7. Peanut butter and jelly and Doritos sandwiches

I guess this eliminates Doritos fingers, but at what cost?

You are what you eat. So if you eat garbage like the things on this list, you're garbage. I don't make the rules.

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