As my sophomore year in college is officially over, I thought that it would only be right to give it one last final review and goodbye. Not "see you later" or "mark the chapter" but slam that book shut and insight a final farewell to the year in college that changed me.
I now know that it is true to find yourself you must lose yourself first. That may not always be the case but after my sophomore year in college, I now feel like a completely different person. Changing is not a bad thing. I feel more strong, mature, and prepared. I am now prepared for my next year in college, prepared to work hard and prepared for heartbreak.
Sophomore year was the year of going out and experiencing new things. I had a boyfriend, new friends that I adored, and I discovered how to let loose. Not too long after dating, I fell apart. Looking back, that was what changed me the most. I experienced confusion and hurt and as for my new "friends", I learned what deceit was. Although I try not to regret wasting my time, I take it all in as a learning experience.
All of the pain and anger I had in me because of a few irrelevant people, are no longer in my life. It is 100% acceptable to cut off toxic people. Whether they are your friends or family, do not hurt yourself by letting others drag you down with them. Of course, now, people still ask me about my ex and old friends, but hey I have heard some stories and thank God that I am no longer in contact with any of them. It is sad when your parents notice a difference in you and see how unhappy and upset you once were. That was the deciding factor to blow a kiss to the ones that hurt me and cut off contact.
Winter break rolled around and once the spring semester began, I broke up with my boyfriend. It hurt, I was lost for a month or two, things happened with friends and I was done letting people control my emotions. After about two months of a small depressed phase, I got over my ex and a bad period in my life. I started writing, I met a few new friends and discovered that it is fun to date again. The dating game made me realize I want to be single for a while and enjoy myself. I can't handle awkwardness or tinder, but I suppose those are the factors that come with dating in this generation.
Once I became acclimated to the new people around me, I learned what it was like to be excited about doing things again. I learned what butterflies felt like again and most importantly, I learned how to be me again. I changed by losing myself only coming to find myself. I am still the same person I was three years ago, but a more revamped and experienced me. With that being said, peace out sophomore year and thank-you for dragging me through the wringer because if I did not experience life this year I would have to go through this in the future.