I know you may be confused, the girl you are looking at right now might resemble the same teary eyed girl you left sitting in her dorm room on August 25th, but yet acts nothing like her. While I came home on breaks and you visited me at school, these were special occasions where there was an event to mark or celebrate. I am just as confused as you as to why this time is different, but it is. All that I ask is that you guys be patient with me while I figure it out too.

When I come home, just know I am incredibly exhausted and the only thing I need is sleep. With packing up an entire dorm room and taking too many finals on minimal sleep, the only thing I need is a nice long nap in my bed. So, no, I am not sick, diseased, or “reverting back to teenage days”, I am not closing my door not to see anyone, I am just literally that tired.

At dinner, it is not that I don't appreciate the home cooked meals or my chair that is a little broken. It is just that I am used to deciding what I want to eat, where I want to eat, and when I get to eat. This is not to diss your food mom, it is simply an adjustment. While in the dining hall, I always had the comfort of a nice booth surrounded by all of my laughing friends, not my broken chair at the kitchen counter. It is not that I don’t cherish this chair or your precious company, I am just getting used to being away from the dining hall.

I know in high school everyday I knew what my friends were doing, what their daily plans were, even their parents some days, but I am sorry I don’t anymore. This isn’t because we aren’t friends or I don’t like them anymore, but we were all busy doing our own thing, creating our own journeys. Yes, I do keep in contact with my good friends and I will always be there for them, our friendship is different, it grew past our high school friendship and this is a good thing. We aren’t just friends with each other because we see each other everyday and it’s a small town, but our friendship survived the college test. We keep in touch and talk to each other because we genuinely care and have an interest in the other’s successes. While this friendship may no longer mean that I know their daily itinerary step by step, I will still be hanging out with them over summer for sure and there is no need to fear that I have totally dropped all of the friends that you like.

I know my happiness overall means the most to you, but I see the sting in your eyes. You know that it hurt me to leave school, my dorm, and my best friends, and this might make you feel like you lost me, but I promise you did not. I still love you guys and my home just as much as I did in August, when I cried every night about leaving. The only difference, now I have homes in two places, which I love equally as much. So, do not be sad or mad if I say I miss West Chester or I want to go back, just smile because this means a job well done, to you and to me.