The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines divorce as follows: the ending of a marriage by a legal process; a complete separation between two things. While that may be the official way to describe it, that is not how I interpret it.

Divorce is so much more than just the ending of a marriage, it is the start of a whole new way of life. Of shared custody, lots of car rides, of meeting new people and having to adapt to different and unfamiliar situations. There are ups and downs, but like everything, that’s just life. The true test of divorce is how you handle it. And as a child, that can be difficult to do.

The unfortunate truth is that for me, there were lots of tears, fights, and sleepless nights. The car rides became longer, the visits shorter, and the separation was hard. Hard on a ten year old who thought everything was perfect, but then had her life torn apart so rapidly. Difficult to adapt to this change, to new places, people, and experiences.

“We don’t grow when things are easy, we grow when we face challenges.” This was one of the biggest challenges of my life, and now, a decade later, I can say that I have overcome the worst parts of it. I still face challenges, but they are minor compared to the news that my parents were separating at age 10. Not everything is perfect, but life isn’t perfect. It is up to you to make the best of your situation: it is your choice to decide how you handle things. I will admit that I did not always make the right decisions. I let my temper get the best of me, and had to learn through these challenges what to improve about myself. I’m not perfect, and never will be. There are always things to work on, but it is the fact that you do work on them that matters.

Life gives you tests to see how you will deal with them: how you overcome them is what type of person you are today. I have learned over the years that you may not remember exactly what was said, but you will remember how it made you feel. So watch what you say to other people, and be conscientious of how it might make them feel. People remember how you made them feel -- ten year old me can attest to that.

I see myself as someone who has had to overcome challenges, face hard times, and deal with a lot at a very young age. But I am who I am because of these trials. I can take my experiences and apply them to new ones that occur every day.

According to society, I come from a broken home because my parents got divorced when I was only ten years old. But that’s not how I see it. I don’t come from a broken home, I come from a bigger family. From more people to love and be loved by, and a greater opportunity to care for more people. My family has grown to encompass so many new faces, and so much love. I know that if I ever need anything, there is always someone I can call. I can always count on my family, and they can always count on me. I love my family, and would never have had the opportunity to meet some of them if my life didn’t turn out this way. While it was very, very hard at first, I have found over the years that my parents weren’t perfect for eachother. The divorce has allowed them to find other people that are, and given them, and myself, the ability to be happier because of it.

My family may be “broken,” but I am whole.