You're too young to know what love is.

If I'm not too young to know pain or happiness, why am I too young to know love?

I go through phases where I think that true love doesn't exist and phases where I think it does. Often times, I believe the former statement because I have been unlucky with love and I tend to believe the latter statement when I see a couple that has been together for a very long time and seem completely and utterly happy with each other. Seeing things like that make me think that true love can be real.

Sometimes I get cynical when it comes to love and I think that I will never have something like that.

Now, I met someone. I don't know if it's love, I don't know if it could turn into that. All I do know right now is that I think about them at random points during the day and get this ridiculously sheepish smile on my face and feel the "honeyglow in my cheeks," as Fix-It Felix Jr. would say. I sit and wait for a response to the Snapchats I send and end up waiting a week or more for them to even be opened, leading me to believe that I'm wasting my time yet again.

But then there will be beautifully random days where my Snapchats are reciprocated and I get all warm and fuzzy inside again and start to wonder if this could be the one person I was meant to find, or at least if they could be another significant person in my life.

I can't help but hesitate, seeing as we've never met in person. But when we talk (either texting or Snapchatting), I can't help but fall even harder. I don't want to jump ahead of myself here and say that I'm in love because I can't know that just yet. But I can say that this seriously sucks. Going through the motions of getting to know each other and then not talking for long periods of time or being able to actually see each other. Not to mention I'm a huge hugger, so not being able to even do that is hard.

Being in college in an area far away from home is not the ideal situation for dating or for trying to date. Especially in my situation, where the local people are not the types of people I wish to be with (sorry and no offense). But going on a dating app as a joke and matching with someone in a different state from your home state AND from your school's state is even harder.

Maybe we'll be able to meet someday, maybe we won't. It will hurt no matter what. If we never meet, will it be a missed opportunity? If we meet, do we try the long-distance thing?

I don't know the answer to these questions. I only know that my love for this person makes me look forward to every new day and also makes me sad that we can't share it together.

Maybe one day.