Stephen Marche's "Is Facebook Making Us Lonely?" is a factual essay that goes into great detail about the idea that Facebook makes us lonely. Marche makes a wonderful statement about the people who use Facebook “... the more connected we become, the lonelier we are.”(Marche 601). People often think that social media sites cause us to be more connected with friends and loved ones, but it is really a reason to no longer have physical interaction with people. He goes on to tell us that loneliness isn’t a feeling that one has and then it goes away once you are around people. Loneliness is a psychological state. It affects the whole body. Marche claims that Facebook isn’t the culprit. People are the ones who make themselves lonely. I think Marche is right. By looking at the lives of others, people condemn themselves to feel lonely and insignificant.

Facebook makes us lonely. Many have felt it numerous times. Scrolling through and looking at the pictures of others. People are getting married, engaged, having children, and attending parties, yet the onlooker is sitting at home by themselves. Instantly that person feels lonely. Why is that? The onlooker is feeling the need of having the satisfaction of social interaction. Let’s say the onlooker then attends a concert or a party. They feel nothing at all has changed. They feel just as lonely as before. Eric Klinenberg, sociologist at NYU, tells us, “It is not the quantity of social interaction, but the quality” (Klingenberg 602). If a person just goes out to a random place with a massive amount of strangers nothing will be different. They are no longer alone? Correct they are no longer physically alone, but psychologically they are alone.

Why can’t the person just not feel lonely? Loneliness is not just a feeling. It is a mental state of being. Loneliness works like a mental disorder. Most of the time it can’t be cured by just being surrounded by ones who are loved. The lonely person has to genuinely feel like they are not alone. John Cacioppo, director of the Center for Cognitive and Social Neuroscience, wrote a book titled Loneliness. This book explained the details of experiments he did on people who stated that they are lonely. He tested urine, stress hormones, and white blood cells. What he discovered still shocks people today. “Loneliness affects not only the brain, but the basic process of DNA” (Cacioppo 607). When you feel lonely, your whole body feels lonely. The feeling spreads all over your body causing it to change along with your mental state.

Do we make ourselves lonely? Yes, we do. We invite this feeling into our body. We do this to ourselves. It is all how we use technology. I am not saying Facebook is bad. I am not saying that all people who use it are lonely either. I am saying we need to use it in the right way. Then there is the happiness factor. We all strive to be happy. We make foolish decisions, and we are left with even bigger consequences. The happier we try to be, the less happy we will be (Marche 609). Make your life your own. Do not try to make your life a cookie cutter version of someone else’s. Last time I checked we are all our own person. All of us are unique.

So does Facebook make people lonely? No. The way people use it makes them lonely. People can chose to use Facebook as a fun way to connect with distant friends or family, or they can choose to look at it and feel like they are a boring and uninteresting person. Loneliness is not a feeling. Loneliness is a psychological state of the mind. One does not simply chose to be lonely. Your body can drastically change due to loneliness as well. It moves throughout your system and changes your DNA. It is not just a brain issue. It is a body issue. People invite loneliness into their lives. We feel jealous of others' lives and we try to change ours. We end up making ourselves miserable. Trying to be happy does not work either. The more you try the less happy you will be. Don’t blame Facebook for your problems. Take responsibility for your own actions.

Works Cited

Marche, Stephen. “Is Facebook Making People Lonely” Current Issues and Enduring Questions. Eds. Sylvan Barnet and Hugo Bedau New York: Bedford/ St. Martin’s 2014, 600-610 print