To be honest, I feel like I don't have much to write these days, but not for the reason you might think. There is so much going on, it feels like my attention is being sliced into a billion different pieces. I want to talk about justice, I want to talk about how much black lives fucking matter. I want to help and continue to change, but I feel like I have no idea how to do it the "right" way, the effective way. Honestly, I'm not even convinced there is a "right" or single effective way. Even though things have never been clearer, I still feel like I have no idea what's going on. I am tired, I am overwhelmed, confused, and uncertain. I want to keep talking, listening, but what do you do when it feels like there is nothing more to say? I am searching for this answer or "right" way to do things. How do I know which way is which?
What do you do when everything means whatever you make it mean? How can you know what it means in the first place?
If any of this resonated with you, congratulations, you are mid existential crisis. Whether this is your first one or you are hoping this is your last, I want to remind you, you are not and never have been alone (though being alone is not something you should fear). You may not be able to put it into words. You may not know what to think or feel. You may not understand. You may feel low, even dark. You may feel empty, even weak. You may not have an answer. You may have no idea what's going on. You may not know what's right. You may feel on your own. But guess what? That's okay. Please remember, all of this, a "right" way to do things or an overarching answer, is not all on you. You know better. You can think differently. You can't always change the world but you can change yourself. You can be kinder to yourself when you are feeling down. You can be willing to listen when you feel fed up. You can check others the way you want to be checked. You can accept what you cannot change (not without trying). The more you treat yourself the way you want to be treated, the more you know how treat others. Honestly, I'm not sure where I'm going with this or if there is even a point to this message, but I want to be heard.
I know you may feel helpless. I know you can't always understand. I know you may feel misunderstood. I know you might be uncertain. There is hope. I know you may feel powerless. I know you may want the best but have no idea how to get there. I know you may wish things were different. There is hope. I know you may want to be seen. I know you may want to be heard. I know it hurts having to fight for yourself all the fucking time. There is hope. There is hope for better days. There is hope for different times. There is hope for a place where we can all truly get along. There's gotta be. When you lose hope, you can't change. When you can't change, you don't grow. We may have no idea how to get there, but we can. We have to. We will.
For whoever needs to hear this: This isn't just a race thing. This isn't just a money thing. This is a people thing. This is a planet thing. Help.
"A riot is the language of the unheard." Listen. Change.
We are all in this together, act like it.
Signed: Same Bitch, Different Story.