There is a long list of things people tell you to let go of, toxic relationships and friendships, jobs, negative thoughts, emotions, and the list goes on. But three things people often forget to tell you to let go of is your attachment, judgment, and expectations towards certain situations. If you are wondering what exactly I am talking about then you probably struggle deeply with these three things.
Attachment is how attached you are to a certain person or situation. Levels of attachment can vary but overall, it is something you should let go of. Some examples of being attached are the feeling of loneliness when a person doesn't text you back, the feeling of neediness towards a person, or when you are constantly overthinking a situation or problem. All of these things have sucked your attention to the point where you feel as if you are a part of them, that you cannot identify without them. Attaching yourself to something or someone is removing another chunk of who you are as an independent individual and allowing whatever it is or whoever it is to take over that part of you.
Identifying yourself according to a person or situation is where attachment hinders your happiness. That without these things you cannot function or you continuously have this aching sense of need. No one reminds you that once you identify yourself with something or have this attachment that you lose a part of yourself to it.That when that person doesn't text you back or when a situation, out of your control, happens, you completely feel lost. This is unhealthy and an easy way to destroy yourself.
Judgment is another thing that we as people easily do but not realize the damage it does to us. I think we all are aware of what judgment is, but if you're not, it's that immediate thought you have towards a person or situation. So when something happens, that thought of, "Oh no, I don't like this" or, "Oh wow, this is perfect!" Both are judgments. Judgments are not always a bad thing, but one can lead to attachment or expectations and the other one towards hatred or surfacing the underlying feelings you have about yourself.
When you enjoy something or have a positive judgment towards it or even attachment, you might encounter having expectations. This is what you hope will come out of whatever is going on or what you hope someone will do for you. If I could tell you to let go of one of these three things it would be expectations. Your need or want to expect comes from you not enjoying things as they are. You are wanting more and you are hoping that something else happens out of whatever is happening at that moment or with another individual.
Expectations are everywhere. You want more from your partner, you want more from your job, your house isn't enough for you, you aren't getting enough out of school, you are just wanting more and more. You are ignoring the reality of a situation, such as your relationship. You want your relationship to be the same way it was when you first started dating but you are ignoring that time moves on and your relationship will age as you guys do. That doesn't mean the love isn't there, but your expectations have become more now that you see that. Or when you expect something more from another individual who has already told you what they want. You aren't enjoying whatever it is or who it is for what they are in that moment. Because you enjoy it, you want more from it.
All three of these things are ruining your chance at a happy and content life. Whether you are attaching yourself to something or someone, judging them or it, or having expectations. All three things can either cause you to lose yourself or lose the situation and/or individual, but either way, none of that is what you want in the end. You have to make the conscious decision to let go of these things to enjoy what life is now, not what you want it to be. Whether you're judging someone for what they're wearing, why is that a problem? Why are you so worried about someone not replying back to you? Why do you want your relationship to be more than it is now? Why are you scared of comfortableness? Why are you scared to be okay with whatever it is or whatever someone is?
Let your attachments, judgments, and expectations go and I promise you, you will live a better life. Let yourself flow with everything around you, including situations and people who come and go. Let others be who they are while you let yourself be who you are. Stop trying to have so much control over what comes your way and leaves you.
With this mindset, you will welcome anything and anyone who serves you the way you deserve as well as letting go of anything and anyone that doesn't. You will accept yourself for who you are and what you can do. Letting go of these things will help you open and close doors without so much heavy emotion. You will not judge things that come to you but you will greet them the way you greet things you love or don't understand. You will not hold any expectations for you will enjoy everything for what it is and anyone for who they are. You will not expect anything or anyone to be more than what they are, for you do not want that same burden. And, you will not attach yourself. For you are you and nothing and no one else. The more you hold onto these things the more weight you will carry around with you, so let them go.