When I was a little girl, I didn't know much about Jesus. I knew that he died for my sins and that he loved me but what exactly did that mean? Did that mean I could do whatever I wanted without a result? When I got older I started to have more faith and carry out it in my daily life.
I've noticed that I have changed in the past year significantly. I used to party a lot, I used to try to please people, and live in the moment. No matter how much I did any of these things I was never satisfied...with myself. Once I got saved people couldn't expect the same things out of me. I came to the realization that as a woman of God I needed to separate myself from things of this world.
When I turned 20 I started taking my faith very seriously. I began to lose a lot of friends and I became aware of my fleshly desires. I began to notice that it was impossible for me to continue doing the same things I used to do. How could I after knowing all the promises God has for me? I changed for the better but not everyone realizes that.
As a woman of Christ, dont expect me to see me at that weekend party or kickback indulging in drugs and alcohol. I know trouble only lies there waiting for its next victim. I know that many of my associates will be there. The associates that dont realize they are pulling themselves and others down. The ones who don't care about my boundaries but instead keep insisting I "hit the blunt." The associates that will encourage me to drink beyond my limits and then leave me to my demise. Please don't expect to see me there anymore.
I also will not be participating in any gossip. The words spoken by people in my "clique" didn't have an ounce of love in them. Like daggers they only wounded me. I know the way you talk about me behind my back. I see the way you gloat at others misfortunes. Don't expect me to be around for it anymore.
Gentleman, don't think that I will just show interest in the same type of guys anymore. Don't expect me to Netflix and chill. Don't expect me to settle when you can't match what I have to offer. Your appearance and game won't win me over. It won't make me date you or even consider talking to you for that matter. It's not enough anymore, it should have never been enough in the first place honestly.
Instead, expect to see a young woman constantly looking within herself to improve. Expect a woman who accepts the fact that she isn't perfect but lives out every day striving to be more Christ like. Look forward to seeing a woman who builds up everyone around her with positive words and encouragement. Instead of searching for me at that party, know that you will find me on my face in constant prayer or working on the things that will benefit me in the long run.
Please know that in order for me to be with someone they must have faith. They have to seek God more than they seek me. If he can't be faithful to God, how can I expect him to be faithful to me. Please understand that I am not the same person anymore. Through Christ I have realized I can do all things. I have become brave, humble, and aware that God has so much more to offer me than the world.