Sometimes it's hard to see someone for who they truly are; we always want to see people the way we want to see them.
One of the hardest things for me was realizing that the girl I thought was my best friend was in fact not. No matter how much I tried to make excuses for her actions, in the back of my mind it never made sense to me. I was never treated with the same respect that I gave. Whenever I did something she did something or said something she did not agree with, it was taken note of. Whenever I was dating someone she didn't like, I was given attitude and experienced passive aggression.
When we were out with a group of friends having fun, she would make it a point to be rude and act as if she was having a horrible time, which would certainly dampen the mood. Again, I continually would make excuses for her and act like everything was okay - but it most definitely wasn't okay.
When she wanted to stop being friends, at first I was very torn up about it; felt as if my world was falling apart for a little while. How could someone who was my best friend not want to be friends all of a sudden, over something so minor? As cliché as it sounds, I thought true friends were for forever, no matter at what cost.
You would think, we are adults, we can fix things in an adult manner. I tried reaching out for a bit and even asked other friends for advice. Little did I know that this would not matter one bit in my life now.
If I could tell myself the things I know now, back then, I would tell myself not to grieve. I would tell myself that this will not matter in the least bit to my life in the long run. I would tell myself that I have other best friends that are one-hundred percent more deserving of my love, time, and dedication to them - far more than this person who has no relevance to me whatsoever now.