Does everything happen for a reason?

As a middle schooler, I loved that phrase: “everything happens for a reason.” I would resonate with it and write it all over my binders because I was that annoying kid who had an inspirational quote on everything they owned. I think I loved it because it meant all of our actions, heartaches, losses, wins, and events happened for a greater purpose. However, as I got older, I started to second guess this way of thinking more and more.

Why?

Because I don’t think everything fits into this category of "everything happening for a reason." To me your boyfriend or girlfriend breaking up with you, moving to a new school, not making the soccer team, etc. fits into this category. These were all small things that I can wrap my head around.

But, the things I couldn’t wrap my head around happening for a reason seemed to bother me. Like, sexual assault, murder, the death of a loved one, etc. I’ve realized that the things I listed make “everything happens for a reason” seem like an over-encompassing and overwhelming statement. These are the things that are truly unfair and unjust in this world.

How could they be happening for a reason?

To be honest, I still don’t know. I could give you the age old advice that the hardships and the things that don’t fit into “everything happens for a reason” make you stronger. I believe that to some existent, however, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. I could also tell you that God doesn’t give you more than you can handle and you know what, sometimes that’s hard to believe.

But the simple statement I can say is that some things/moments in this life are fair and others aren’t. As children, we were obsessed with what was fair and if Timmy would have ice cream for cleaning up then I could too. But sadly, as we get older, this simple, understandable way the world works, isn’t there anymore. “Everything happening for a reason” is a heck of a lot more complicated.

I wish it weren't. I wish it was simple like when we were kids, but we aren't kids anymore. So if you're like me, and you are bothered by the concept of "everything happens for a reason," all I can say is that you will ALWAYS BE BOTHERED BY IT. This world doesn't make sense and I don't think it ever will, unfortunately. I wish I could give you a little piece of a basic Tumblr or Pinterest quote that seems to make everything better, like appreciate this life or someday you will understand or someday you will completely understand God while on this earth.

However, all I can tell you to do is appreciate when you do understand and realize why something happened because it's rare. If we could understand these things then we wouldn't need Tumblr or Pinterest or God to help us find our answers and we tend to think if we understand then it will give us some solace.

But then again, I just explained how this world isn't always fair or simple.