I don't know if it's my biological clock telling me it's time to have babies or if it's society telling me that I need to get with the program, but I have an unmet desire for motherhood and everyone is getting to that point much faster than I am. And I'm getting a little impatient.
Now, don't get me wrong: I know for fact that I am not at that stage in my life where I need to be having children - adopted or otherwise created. I know I'm not emotionally ready, financially ready, nor am I at a point in my life where I could provide that child stability and routine. I'm not at the point where I could give this child my undivided attention during the most crucial parts of his or her life. I'm not prepared to deal with the inevitability that this child will turn out just as weird as I certianly did. I'm not prepared to face possible poverty with a child in tow.
But I still want a kid. At least one. I want to be a mom, and that's honestly a goal for myself: be a mother, and a great one at that. (And don't think those are the only goals in my life, either; I'm graduating with three degrees, if that tells you anything.)
See, motherhood is not a bad thing. Motherhood doesn't ruin your life, if that's what you choose for yourself. Motherhood is hard. I have no doubts about this after seeing what my own mother dealt with (i.e., me) while I was growing up. I was not an easy child to raise, but she (and my father) did a good job of doing so. I absolutely hate the insinuation that pregnancy and motherhood will destroy your entire life, body, and spirit. It just simply isn't the case. I hear this from people who are disrespectful toward children and mothers all the time. Pregnancy and motherhood changes the body, for sure, but it doesn't destroy you. Your body can bounce back from pregnancy. You will regain your sanity once the children leave the nest. Being a mom isn't the worst thing in the world and I wish people would stop saying that it is.
I want to experience having a child run up to me, excited to see me when I come home from work. I want to experience late night cuddles with my child while trying to get them to sleep. I want to change the diapers, take them to doctors appointments, run around with them wherever they are needed. See, that's what mothers do: they care for their children unconditionally. From what I've seen from not only my mother but other mothers in the family, as well as my friends who are mothers, it's going to be one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. Hard, for sure, but very rewarding.
If you want to go out and live your life child-free (and even spouse- or boyfriend/girlfriend-free), then that's perfectly fine. No one is stopping you from doing so. But please stop demonizing people like me who would love to have children of their own someday. Stop demonizing people who don't want to adopt and would like to experience pregnancy for themselves. Stop telling young women to not think about having children. It's in our DNA, and a lot of women desire to be mothers and will literally drown themselves in debt just to bring a child into their lives.
Don't take the joy of wanting to be a parent away from another woman just because you don't ever want to be a mom.