Every Woman Should Live On Her Own At Least Once In Her Life

Every Woman Should Live On Her Own At Least Once In Her Life

If you know how to feel safe and secure at home and with yourself, you'll carry it into your relationships.

Adulthood is the evil stepmother of life that none of us ever asked for. Yet, it’s a pretty necessary component of life.

If there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that being on my own and living alone has taught me a lesson in independence that I would never have understood.

I have definitely learned a lot about myself these past six years of living on my own - like, I am a horribly unhealthy eater.

Exercise? Running alone sounds like an episode of "Criminal Minds," and going to the gym always results in that creepy guy moving to the equipment behind you to stare at your ass. I see you, bro.

But one look at the bathroom scale in the morning and I realize that number is the only thing lower than my problems!

And a career? Whoever told you a Bachelor’s degree would take care of you was lying. It was also probably a man. I’m not even going to talk about college debt right now. Buy a house? My credit score is a daily reminder that there are things scarier than bears!

I keep telling myself that my job of five years is temporary, and my apartment has practically no closet space. Though I can’t decide if the space is for my clothes or the skeletons I keep.

Even though things feel chaotic, and maybe I'm not where I want to be, being on my own has been a crucial step in getting me to “adulthood."

Living alone is important for figuring out how to BE on your own. It’s more responsibility than splitting things with a roommate, and it teaches you how to feel safe and secure by yourself.

Living on my own taught me to feel safe at home, which then carried over into my relationships. Knowing I was already taking care of myself, it made it easier to make decisions in relationships because I have always known that I don’t need someone.

It has allowed me to break up with people more easily and to fall for others without concerning myself with whether or not they could take care of me.

Sure, sometimes it gets a bit scary. And I’d be lying if I said I haven’t heard a loud noise and immediately called someone while freaking out. But at the end of the day, I have this life that I have built all on my own.

People can support me from the outside without having to take care of everything on the inside.

I think of it as a sport. My life is a race, and I certainly don’t want people running on my track or tripping me up, but I do want to hear them cheering on the sidelines.

Living on my own has taught me how to take care of myself, and it has made me more attuned to my own needs. Allowing myself the space to grow and mature has made a big difference in how I handle things, both at work and in my personal life.

It has made me more confident in my decisions because I have learned to trust myself. I have had to pick myself up from every mistake I have made living on my own. Forcing myself to be by myself has benefited me in more ways than one.

It is not wrong to depend on other people or to even have a man that you can depend on, but too often women become so dependent on men and being taken care of that we lose our own voices.

We forget what we want and how to make decisions for ourselves. It becomes about your husband or your kids, and you barely even hear your own voice anymore.

So, if you can, I encourage every woman to take a year and just live by yourself. Date. Don’t date. Do whatever the hell you want.

But along the way, it will teach you how to trust yourself and make your own decisions. It makes you self-aware and helps you put a value on your decision making.

And hey, all that free time might teach you some things. You'll develop new hobbies. Learn how to cook. Or learn all the names of the delivery guys when you order takeout.

Start 57 new Pinterest projects. And finish none of them! Read a million books or try new hobbies.

You'll explore yourself and your interests. And you'll learn how to be you. Whoever she might be. Maybe you haven't fully met her yet.

But make a home for yourself and IN yourself. It is the best place you will ever be.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Everything You Will Miss If You Commit Suicide

The world needs you.

You won't see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.

Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.

You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.

You won't laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.

You won't go on another adventure. You won't drive around under the moonlight and stars.

They'll miss you. They'll cry.

You won't fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.

You won't get to interrogate your sister's fiancé when the time comes.

You won't be there to wipe away your mother's tears when she finds out that you're gone.

You won't be able to hug the ones that love you while they're waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.

You won't be at your grandparents funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.

Instead, they will be at yours.

You won't find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.

You won't celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.

You won't turn another year older.

You will never see the places you've always dreamed of seeing.

You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.

This will be the last sunset you see.

You'll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges, and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.

If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.

This is what you will miss if you leave the world today.

This is who will care about you when you are gone.

You can change lives. But I hope it's not at the expense of yours.

We care. People care.

Don't let today be the end.

You don't have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It's not wrong to ask for help.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting.

Suicide is a real problem that no one wants to talk about. I'm sure you're no different. But we need to talk about it. There is no difference between being suicidal and committing suicide. If someone tells you they want to kill themselves, do not think they won't do it. Do not just tell them, “Oh you'll be fine." Because when they aren't, you will wonder what you could have done to help. Sit with them however long you need to and tell them it will get better. Talk to them about their problems and tell them there is help. Be the help. Get them assistance. Remind them of all the things they will miss in life.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

Cover Image Credit: Brittani Norman

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Your Health Journey Is A Marathon, Not A Sprint

Perfection takes time.


When you first start to do something, you have all of the motivation in the world to accomplish that goal set out in front of you, especially when it comes to being healthier. The problem is as you continue through this journey and food and laziness kick in, motivation slips. It's human, and it happens to everyone no matter how physically strong they are.

Trying to be healthier doesn't always mean losing weight. It can be so your knees don't ache as much, so you don't feel as out of breath climbing stairs, or any goal you have set for yourself. Being healthier is personal and different from person to person.

I will be the first to admit that there are plenty of changes I would love to make about myself. From my weight to my body type and many other things about myself inside and out. I am by no means the most confident person about how I look, but I have worked hard for the past year to be an overall healthier person.

Becoming healthier isn't about looking thinner or fitting into a specific size of clothes. It is about taking care of yourself from eating better to working out more. There comes a feeling of confidence in what your body can do if you put a little love in it.

Perfection takes time, and I know firsthand how frustrating trying to be healthier can be.

Pizza tastes so much better than salad. It is so easy to fall into a rhythm of something that seems never to change whether that is your weight or your mile time. Sadly, you can't build a city, or become healthier overnight.

We see people who are thinner, curvier, smarter, faster, and so much more than us. We all waste time comparing ourselves to people around us and on our timelines, but some of our biggest strengths are our individuality and the gift of getting back up after falling down.

All I can say is, please don't give up on your goal of being healthier because this is solely for you. We can have a great support system in the world and have everyone in our corner, but that isn't enough.

You need yourself. You need to know that if you don't entirely put yourself in this journey, then you won't fully succeed. Your commitment to bettering yourself can keep you going even if you want to give up.

Your motivation may not be at its peak level right now, and you may have every cell in your body screaming at you to quit. Don't do it. Prove to yourself that you can keep going no matter what. Not giving up will be worth it. The results and taking the hard way will make you a stronger person inside and out.

You can do this. You can do anything you want to accomplish if you just believe in yourself. You need to understand that becoming healthier takes endurance. There will be periods where you slow down and may not be going at your fastest pace. The difference is that you are not giving up and you are still trying and moving.

Don't treat becoming healthier as a sprint: short term and quick. That mentality will only leave you feeling deflated and defeated. It is a life-long marathon of pacing yourself and pushing yourself further than ever before.

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