One afternoon the summer before my junior year of high school, my mother and I had picked up one of my close friends to go to the movies. We both are black. My mother struck up a conversation about the girls in our grade, inquiring to see if there were any potential girlfriends. My mother started off with the Black girls in my grade. My friend and I laughed at some of the names, others we simply shook our heads in disagreement. My mother inquired as to why we had so adamantly rejected almost every one of the names she had given to us. “It’s simple,” we said, “they just aren’t that attractive.”

That was back in the middle of high school. If you read my first article I posted, you already know that I attended predominately white institutions from elementary school to high school. And in that environment, I believe that my black peers, whether we knew it or not, were absorbing elements of white culture. I think the most glaring example of this would be how our definition of beauty had been influenced. In an environment where you do not see yourself represented, you begin to stop seeing the intrinsic value of your own beauty. You begin to see the “other” as both an inspiration and aspiration. I remember talking with one of my younger friends who stated that he almost could not see Black as beautiful because he had always lived around and gone to school with white people. I was shocked that he would be so bold to say that, but as I as reflected on myself I realized that I too had adopted some of that mentality. I had internalized Eurocentric standards of beauty for so long that I was not even aware that I was disregarding black women. The media already has created a very whitewashed picture of what it means to beautiful or handsome, but growing up as a minority amplifies the feeling that you do not fit the mold that has been set. (If you’re skeptical about whitewashed media go google the following: Beauty, beautiful women, handsome men, beautiful family, cute baby. Count the people of color.)

Towards the latter half of my high school career, especially during my senior year, I grew conscious of this very narrow definition of beauty. I also recognized that this mindset went much deeper. We had not simply found the black girls in our school unattractive, I think to a certain extent, we failed to appreciate them. We hadn’t respected them as romantic interests or as friends. I recognize that is a very heavy statement. But I believe that we were robbed of a little of our pride in each other during those four years. I also believe that many of my black peers, both male and female, disregarded black culture in an attempt to be accepted. Thank goodness most of us grew out of that. One of my close friends now attends Tennessee State University. In a late night phone call, we both recalled how we felt stifled as we had to conform to certain standards. We both, however, agreed that attending HBCU’s had given us a new, profound sense of community we had lacked. She recalled a time she had given one of our friends a ride to McDonald’s at the end of our senior year. After they returned to school, he thanked her and then said, “you know, you’re pretty for a black girl.” He was black too.

I am continuing to appreciate the beauty of all black people while I “unlearn” those past racial notions. I believe an HBCU is the optimal environment in which to do this; however, this internalized racial insecurity is not exclusive to Black students. I can only speak from my experience, but my Asian-American friends of different ethnicities, whether they were Chinese, Japanese, Filipino, or Vietnamese, all expressed a sense of being stifled by the environment they lived in and the media they had consumed. That is why shows like The Proud Family, Masters of None, Black-ish, and Fresh Off the Boat matter. They challenge the constant tide of one-dimensional messages we have been fed through years of a Eurocentric-focused history and offer a more holistic picture of what makes America great. It is why characters like Miles Morales (the Black-Hispanic Spiderman), Princess Tiana (the first Black Disney Princess), Rey and Finn of Star Wars: The Force Awakens (a woman and a black man, respectively) are important because children, teenagers, and adults look and see themselves. That is why diversity in all levels of education is important. Students look to teachers and see something they can aspire to, someone that looks like them. I do not want anyone to see this article as a denouncement of whiteness or interracial relationships. If you see it as that, then you have missed the point.

Representation matters. It inspires. It is a more authentic view of the world.