The “Friend Zone”: we’ve all heard of it, we’ve all been in it, and — most likely — we’ve put someone in it. It’s never a good thing, and many times it ruins relationships and friendships because we feel as though we’re metaphorically trapped. I’m no advocate for the Friend Zone; in fact, I’m quite the opposite. I’m here to tell you that there is an escape from this terrible, terrible place, a sort of “Great Escape” if you will. Below are a few methods I recommend for escaping the Friend Zone.   

1. Be Less Available: If you’re in the zone (Friend Zone, not Auto Zone), it’s most likely because the other person thinks that they’ll always have you around and can rely on you to be there no matter what. While being reliable and loyal are fantastic qualities to exhibit, you HAVE to change that. Don’t just go dark all at once though. If they shoot you a text wanting to hang, try to resist your first instinct to say yes and turn them down. By varying the amount of times you’re available, the time you spend together is going to be much more meaningful. However, don’t change your attitude that much. Maybe flirt a little more and do less “buddy-buddy” things, but changing your personality too may change they way they think about you as a whole.   

2. Never Say Never: If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again*. Note that the asterisk means don’t be a complete creep. If you really want to be with this person, make sure you make some great attempts. However, realize that you may get shut down a handful of times. The key here is to know when and where to make moves. Make “dates” out of the times you see each other, without them really being dates. I’m not talking candlelit dinners and showing up with gifts, but come up with creative things to do together. Go to a cheap concert close by, get drinks at Harry’s on a casual Tuesday evening (and attempt to not black out), or invite her to a legit date function. The more 1-on-1 time you have in a special environment, the easier it’ll be to move the relationship along.   

3. Sometimes 1st Is Last: I would say 90% of the girls I know expect guys to text them first. While I know you’re all princesses, this is 300% not what you should expect or even want from us. When a dude texts first all the time, he comes off as desperate, needy, and sometimes over the top. Don’t get me wrong, guys: initiating the conversation is a huge power move, but let the ladies do the work sometimes. The worst part is that as 20-somethings, we still don’t know who or what we want — even though we claim to know — so varying your frequency of texting and the order in which you do so may change up the pace.  

4. Stop Advertising: Whether you’re looking for a relationship or just looking to hook up, keep it on the down low. Obviously, it’s cool to discuss this with that other person when appropriate, but don’t be advertising your feelings on social media and to the general public. For example, writing Odyssey articles about how to escape “Cuffing Season”, how to break up your friend with his girlfriend, or advocating for pizza over girls might not be your go to if you’re trying to pursue a relationship with someone. Keep what you what a mystery, and let it unfold as the two of you become closer and more interested in the relationship.      

The Friend Zone can be a cold and lonely place, my friends. But fear not, because even though some people may believe that the Friend Zone is forever, they’re stupid and really don’t know anything about relationships. If you want it bad enough, you can get what you want, so make a plan, execute it, and then brag to all your friends about how you have that smokin’ new significant other while they’re sitting watching HIMYM on Netflix with their turtle.   

Follow me on Twitter @FratYeezus for more poor relationship advice and check out my other articles at www.theodysseyonline.com/purdue.