I discovered the world of piercings and tattoos in freshman year and I’ve been hooked ever since.

The youth population is notorious for our urge to cover ourselves in ink and poke holes through any bit of skin we can find. When I was younger, I played into this stereotype and used to think that teenagers used tattoos and piercings to seek attention and express themselves in an in-your-face kind of way, not unlike wearing a statement necklace or bold makeup. Now that I’m “one of them,” I’ve realized that I couldn’t have been more wrong.

A few days ago, a friend and I went and got matching tragus piercings. Later that same day, we were discussing tattoo ideas, still high off the piercing rush, when we found ourselves wondering why we find the idea of ornamenting and decorating ourselves so appealing and addictive. While digging deep, I came up with something that surprised me, and hurried to type it out before I lost my thoughts in our existential conversation.

In a world where nothing stays the same and so many things are out of our control, we seek permanence. The concept of tattoos is mysterious, and we may never fully understand it, but I think part of why some of us want them is because we want to make our mark on the world in a way that we can physically touch and feel. We want to put something in place that will be there forever as proof that we were here, that we existed. We often feel small, insignificant and temporary in this big world. People live and die, buildings go up and get torn down, and forests grow and get burned to ash in the blink of an eye.

I think that John Green was right when he wrote in his book "The Fault in Our Stars" that everyone, on some level, fears oblivion. We have trouble accepting the idea that once we’re gone, we will only exist in the memories of the living, and after they die, it’s as if we never walked this Earth.

We want to leave our mark on something that’s ours. But nothing in this world is truly ours and nothing in the world truly lasts forever. The only tangible objects that are closest to belonging entirely to us are our bodies, and the most permanent thing you can do to your body is to etch ink into your skin or embed jewelry into your flesh. It is our way of taking ownership of our bodies and leaving our marks at the same time. What we decided to put on our bodies is irrelevant—some of us do it for aesthetics and others for symbolism, but we all have the same inner monologue: this is my body, and I’m going to decorate it to make it mine.

Contrary to what my younger and more pretentious self believed, for me, getting piercings or tattoos has nothing to do with seeking attention. I couldn’t care less if nobody would ever see my tattoos or the bling on my ears; all of it is for me and me alone. The whole point is that it’s there and I put it there, and each time I see it in the mirror, I feel a little more alive.

I’ve yet to get my first tattoo, having spent the last year hunting for the right symbol or phrase. I think I’ve found it, though, and I’m excited and but also apprehensive about the day I take the leap and get inked.