Lately, I’ve noticed self-deprecation and low self-confidence have become a bit of a trend. We feed into our small shortcomings a little too much as individuals as opposed to focusing on things we know we're good at. We do this intentionally at times as well, and it’s a dangerous notion. As a result, it’s almost as if confidence is automatically taken as arrogance. However, I am taking the time now to build up my self-confidence, and to finally tell myself:

I am and always will be enough.

Here’s why I’ve decided to change the way I talk about myself.

Shadowing doctors, I was always intrigued by the confidence each doctor I interacted with seemed to have. Every time they walked into the room, everyone knew who was in charge. From the girl who has always struggled with confidence issues, and from the girl just starting out her college career, I realized that my confidence would need to be something I needed to work on.

I realized that I wouldn’t be able to interact with patients or people in any work/professional environment with the timid persona I had always had. Patients and employers alike need confidence and competence. I had neither. I’m still trying to work on both to this very day.

Yet at the end of the day, there is a lot of work I've put into my major so far. All and all feel like I am doing everything in my power to get to where I need to be. Are there things that I need to improve on? Of course! However, that doesn’t negate the work and time I have put into what I have done so far in school, even if other people get better grades or are involved more than I am.

Consistently degrading myself when it came to school, whether over tests, projects or extracurriculars completely damaged the confidence I had with the work I was doing in school. I found myself comparing myself to my peers and feeling like trash once I came to the realization they might be doing better than me, even though that wasn't the case. It got to the point where I couldn’t function as a result.

I was nothing but a sporadic anxious mess that broke down over anything less than an A. Something had to change because it kept taking time way from the time I had to work. I had to tell myself:

I am enough – because I know the work I had to do to get to the academic standing I’m at today.

My low confidence and consistent self-deprecation also taught me to do whatever it took to please people, regardless of the way others treated me. It taught me to settle for guys I knew would only admire my body and never my mind. Self-deprecation taught me to be OK with the guy I knew didn’t want me and was just using my company to fill a void his previous girlfriend left. My low confidence and self-deprecation also forced me to give attention to toxic “friends." It also taught me to take any and all emotional abuse from others.

There were times and situations that I was so desperate to gain the attention and acceptance of damaging people only to eventually get hurt by their rejection. Looking back, most of these "friends" weren’t worth my time.

Not to put myself on a pedestal, as I don’t believe there is the need, but these people were arrogant and consistently worked to bring down my self-esteem. They made themselves seem so important, beautiful and smart, yet made me feel like trash in return.

Nonetheless, I was so desperate for their attention and acceptance because I was so scared to be around people that thought badly of me. Plus I had very few friends growing up, so I became desperate. I thought I had to have the acceptance and love of everyone around me and do everything possible to please someone to be their friend, but I was simply wrong because there were plenty that weren’t worth my time and attention in the first place.

Even individuals that weren’t necessarily rude to me but just didn’t really talk to me or engage with me in any sort of way when I was around them made me feel terrible. I consistently told myself that they wouldn’t talk to me because I was weird or terrible. I felt like I wasn’t enough for their attention, and it destroyed my self-confidence.

Yet now I’ve come to the realization that there are some that might just not crave your friendship and attention, and it's OK. It took me a while to not feel rejected if that was the case. Nobody is obligated to give you their attention and vice versa. It also took me a while to realize that there are some people that are just toxic and aren’t worth the time of day, and it took me time to realize that I had the power to cut these people off and I didn’t need their validation.

There were also relationships where the individual I was with was so emotionally damaging that my self-esteem was shattered because of that person. Looking back, I am now a bit more aware of my own skills and capabilities.

I know the way that individual made me feel was wrong. It wasn’t even the fact that what he said about my shortcomings was completely wrong, because I'm not perfect.

It was the fact that this individual gave me no chance to focus and feel competent about the things I knew I was good at. No matter what I did, I would never be good enough for this person. It seemed like the only thing these types of guys wanted from me was my body, as if I had nothing else to offer.

Regardless, this person drew me in because he made himself seem so competent and important. More important than me at least. I’ve seen these types of people a lot though. Note:

We usually think of abuse as something physical and palpable, like black eyes and broken bones. Yet, emotional abuse through constant degradation is something harmful and real that needs to be acknowledged.

So whether or not you’re feeling self-conscious about school, your career or friendships or relationships, repeat after me:

"I know I work hard and am competent in what I do."

"I am enough, whether or not people choose to acknowledge it or not. I don’t need to please everyone."