I used to be obsessed with having the image of wanting to be in relationship, to have someone to share and experience life together, but as I age, I have been realizing that it was my own company I have been seeking all along. What I mean by this is: when you are constantly searching for love within others, it only means you are searching for love within yourself. When I learned this, I slowly began to detach myself from the image I used to want so badly.
I am only at the ripe and tender age of 21, about to turn 22, and I have been having so much fun with my friends and even my family. I have been more focused on my education more than ever before (recently making deans list, which I have never done before), and I have grown to love who I am, and figuring out what it is that I truly want for myself. Being in my own company, I am able to grow into the person I am becoming without any serious distractions. Yes, there are many people I know my age who have been in relationships and have found the person that they can grow with, and I truthfully think that is awesome...but for me, I haven't really found that person.
Do I think I ever will find that person? I don't know, maybe...it's not really a main concern for me right now. Do I want to settle down? Eventually yeah, but that would have to be the right person for me, someone who can handle my outgoing lifestyle and someone who can handle a woman that speaks her mind.
I have had my fair share of guys and I think Staten Island guys has really turned me off to dating, because 95% of them all share the same mindset and still act as if their in high school. Now, I know you're saying "Oh what makes you better than them?"...nothing, because I'm not better than anybody, but if you're a female living on Staten Island and are stuck with dating the guys out here...then you will catch my drift.
Being in a relationship with myself has taught me the importance of building a strong foundation, and learning how to nurture and love myself in a positive way. I surround myself with people who share the same mindset and they are some of the most beautiful people I have ever come across. I am still so young and I don't know if I am even ready to settle down with any guy just yet. I'm just trying to have fun, maybe spend some time with a guy and see what happens, but right now, I'm just about myself, college, family and friends...and truthfully, that is all I need right now.