10 English Major Confessions That'll Have You Spitting Tea Onto Your Classic Novel In Surprise

10 English Major Confessions That'll Have You Spitting Tea Onto Your Classic Novel In Surprise

Despite the headline, some of us don't actually like hot tea.
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I think it's safe to say that every student cuts some corners where possible. It's not cheating because we aren't copying other people's stuff, it's just working smarter, not harder, meaning that we don't always do everything the straightforward and harder way. I don't know if any other majors can relate, but these are my confessions as an English Major.

1. We've only done all of the reading 50% of the time

I'm not saying that I don't do the reading (although that happens sometimes), I'm just saying that I don't always have it done before class. I read a novel a week per English class typically, which I have at least 2 of every semester. That's a lot of reading, friends, even for someone who loves to read.

2. We really wish that we could just fun read

As I said, I love reading, but sometimes I just want to read the fun things that I've been steadily buying rather than the obscure novel that a professor has assigned to me.

3. We post discussion questions on books we haven't read all the time

I've perfected the art of making stuff up based on the title.

4. We deliberately dress like stereotypical English Majors sometimes

So basically we either look like librarians or the cover of folk albums. Add glasses, a classic novel, and a hot beverage to complete the look.

5. We know we won't get high-paying jobs

All I need out of a paycheck is to be able to support myself, a dog, and my book buying habit... (anyone know how much internal organs go for on the black market?)

6. We might not get coffee just for the "coffee and a book" aesthetic, but we definitely appreciate when it happens

I have only a small amount of shame and a lot of really pretty pictures to show for this.

7. Despite our protests that we "never ever want to teach ever absolutely not no," we still kind of want to be professors

As stated in number 6, no one is an English Major because they're going to get rich. We all love to read and study and analyze books. Even if we don't necessarily want to be a professor, there is something appealing about being able to just be an English Major as a career.

8. We sometimes get tired of being asked to edit papers for our friends

But then we remember that 1) we love our friends and 2) editing is a potential job, so we ought to practice.

9. We will get really passionate about book banning very quickly

Don't believe me, check out this reaction to the To Kill a Mockingbird banning in Mississippi last Fall.

10. We could win any argument as long as we get to write it as a paper

You know who is better at arguing than politicians? English Majors. We have to make stuff up based on what we see in the text and then use that text to back up these ideas all the time. We could argue anything well as long as we could write an essay with a thesis sentence/paragraph and an overarching conclusion stating why it's relevant, especially if close reading is involved.

Cover Image Credit: Lily Snodgrass

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12 Signs You're A Nursing Student

Other than the fact that you're constantly seen in scrubs.
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Nursing school is...an adventure. There is nothing quite as exciting or draining as going through the process of becoming a nurse. Some days you're helping to care for tiny babies, and then other days you're off doing wound care for pressure ulcers. Nursing school is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you're gonna get.

There are some key signs in people that show when they're in nursing school. I know my friends and I definitely have these characteristics (whether we want them or not).

1. Your body has no concept of time. Night shift, day shift, there's no time for sleeping. There's no time for anything but studying and work. What day is it? You don't know unless there's an exam.

2. You're addicted to coffee because of the lack of the whole time concept. You can drink coffee and fall asleep right after finishing the cup. Does coffee even work anymore? Does it matter? Oh well, still going to drink the entire pot.

3. Nothing phases you. Poop? Vomit? Yeah, no. I have cleaned up a friend's vomit without even questioning it.

4. You freak out about exams like no other. What do you know? What do you not know? What is pharmacology and why does it hate you? Why doesn't your brain understand neurology? How do you study 10 lectures in one week? WHAT WILL BE ON THE EXAM, JUST TELL US, PLEASE.

5. You can talk about anything during a meal without getting grossed out. Except your non-nursing friends do get really grossed out. You have to filter your conversations when you're at lunch with them. All your friends say things to you like:

6. Your friends never see you. You're either hiding in your room studying, going crazy in clinicals, or working your life away. "Hey, want to hang out?" "Yeah, I'm free next month...actually, next year is better for me."

7. You have two forms: study hyper-drive super-human and half dead maybe-human. "Ahhhhhhhh, gotta study, gotta study! *stays up until 5 am studying*" versus "How am I still living? *passes out facefirst into bed*."

8. You have a very odd habit of complimenting people's veins.

9. You use therapeutic communication during regular daily life. But you don't ask why. "How does that make you feel?"

10. You spend a lot of time during lectures wondering if anyone else is as confused as you. Somebody explain endocrinology to me? Hemodynamic stability? Anyone?

11. You constantly ask yourself why you chose the major you chose, but you know you care too much to change majors. There's no turning back for you.

12. But most importantly, you understand that no matter how much school sucks, you're going to be making a major difference in so many lives. And that's what really matters.

Cover Image Credit: Elissa Lawson

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No, A Colored Student Did Not 'Steal Your Spot,' They Worked Hard To Get Here

I keep hearing this ignorant question of, "How come illegal immigrants can get scholarships, but I can't?"

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Real talk, this whole "they're stealing our resources!" thing has to stop.

It ranges from welfare to acceptance letters into prestigious universities. People (and by people, I'm referring to those who identify as white) have made the assumption that they are having their opportunities stolen by people of color. That's ridiculous.

I love my university. I love the people at my university. However, when I sit in a classroom and look around at my colleagues, the majority of them are white. Of course, there are some classes that are filled with more people of color, but for the most part, they're predominantly white. So, let's say that out of a classroom of 30 students, only 7 identify as people of color.

In what world can somebody make the argument that those 7 students are stealing the spot of a white student? I don't think people realize how hard those 7 students had to work just to be in the same spot as their white counterparts.

Let me use my experience: I am a Latina woman who is attending university on a full-ride scholarship. I don't always tell people about this, because I don't feel like being asked, "wow, what did you do to get that?!" A lot. I keep hearing this ignorant question of, "How come illegal immigrants can get scholarships, but I can't?"

First off, those "illegal immigrants" you're bashing, don't even qualify for financial aid. They don't qualify for most scholarships, actually. Second, have you considered that maybe, that "illegal immigrant" worked hard in and outside of school to earn their scholarship? I received my full-ride scholarship on the basis of my GPA, but also because I am a lower-class woman of color and was selected because I am disproportionately affected by poverty and access to a quality education.

So, this scholarship was literally created because there is an understanding that minorities don't have the same access to education as our white counterparts. It's not a handout though, I had to work hard to get the money that I have now. When white students get scholarships, it's not a handout but when you're Latina like me, apparently it is.

This way of viewing minorities and their education is damaging, and further discourages these people from receiving a quality education. We didn't steal anybody's spot, we had to work to get where we are, twice as hard as our white colleagues that are not discriminated against on a daily basis.

Instead of tearing down students of color because you didn't get a scholarship, why not criticize the American education system instead? It's not our fault tuition is $40k a year, and we have no reason to apologize for existing in a space that is predominantly white.

To students of color: you worked hard to get where you are, and I am proud of you. To white students: I'm proud of you too. We all worked hard to get to where we are now, let's lift each other up, not put each other down.

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