10 English Major Confessions That'll Have You Spitting Tea Onto Your Classic Novel In Surprise

10 English Major Confessions That'll Have You Spitting Tea Onto Your Classic Novel In Surprise

Despite the headline, some of us don't actually like hot tea.

I think it's safe to say that every student cuts some corners where possible. It's not cheating because we aren't copying other people's stuff, it's just working smarter, not harder, meaning that we don't always do everything the straightforward and harder way. I don't know if any other majors can relate, but these are my confessions as an English Major.

1. We've only done all of the reading 50% of the time

I'm not saying that I don't do the reading (although that happens sometimes), I'm just saying that I don't always have it done before class. I read a novel a week per English class typically, which I have at least 2 of every semester. That's a lot of reading, friends, even for someone who loves to read.

2. We really wish that we could just fun read

As I said, I love reading, but sometimes I just want to read the fun things that I've been steadily buying rather than the obscure novel that a professor has assigned to me.

3. We post discussion questions on books we haven't read all the time

I've perfected the art of making stuff up based on the title.

4. We deliberately dress like stereotypical English Majors sometimes

So basically we either look like librarians or the cover of folk albums. Add glasses, a classic novel, and a hot beverage to complete the look.

5. We know we won't get high-paying jobs

All I need out of a paycheck is to be able to support myself, a dog, and my book buying habit... (anyone know how much internal organs go for on the black market?)

6. We might not get coffee just for the "coffee and a book" aesthetic, but we definitely appreciate when it happens

I have only a small amount of shame and a lot of really pretty pictures to show for this.

7. Despite our protests that we "never ever want to teach ever absolutely not no," we still kind of want to be professors

As stated in number 6, no one is an English Major because they're going to get rich. We all love to read and study and analyze books. Even if we don't necessarily want to be a professor, there is something appealing about being able to just be an English Major as a career.

8. We sometimes get tired of being asked to edit papers for our friends

But then we remember that 1) we love our friends and 2) editing is a potential job, so we ought to practice.

9. We will get really passionate about book banning very quickly

Don't believe me, check out this reaction to the To Kill a Mockingbird banning in Mississippi last Fall.

10. We could win any argument as long as we get to write it as a paper

You know who is better at arguing than politicians? English Majors. We have to make stuff up based on what we see in the text and then use that text to back up these ideas all the time. We could argue anything well as long as we could write an essay with a thesis sentence/paragraph and an overarching conclusion stating why it's relevant, especially if close reading is involved.

Cover Image Credit: Lily Snodgrass

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I Learned Forensic Science In One Day For HOSA SLC 2019 And Still Placed Top Ten

We all have those days where we have to cram for an exam you know nothing about the night before, but have you tried to study for it the day of the exam? I never knew I would find myself in this situation until I went to HOSA SLC. With minimal study time, my partner, Kasey Park, and I were still able to place in the Top Ten in Georgia.

Joel Lee
Joel Lee

As a member of my school's chapter of HOSA (Health Occupations Students of America), I went to SLC (State Leadership Conference), where members all over the state of Georgia come to Atlanta to compete in a variety of competitions in the field of Science and Healthcare. All members can pick only one competition to participate in, and the guidelines and rules for each event are posted on the HOSA website.

The event I chose was Forensic Medicine, which requires a team of two people to take a written exam about Forensic Science (Round 1) and write a death report for a case study (Round 2). You must pass Round 1 to move on to Round 2. I worked with a good friend of mine, Kasey Park, for this event. HOSA recommended two textbooks to study for the event: Forensic Science: Fundamentals & Investigations 2nd Edition and Forensic Science: An Introduction to Scientific and Investigative Techniques, Fourth Edition.

Kasey and I both had the books, since Winter Break of our sophomore year (2018-2019), and we both agreed to start studying during winter break. Instead, we both completely forgot about it and when we returned to school after the break, we knew we still had time to study, since SLC was in March. We made a game plan of what chapters to read and when to read them, and we agreed to meet for reviewing the chapters we read. But, it didn't happen.

This procrastination continued about a day before we needed to leave for SLC, and we both realized we needed to study two thick textbooks in about 24 hours. We both knew at this point we just needed to cram as much information we could possibly fit into our brains.

The way we crammed was we both read the textbook as fast as possible and absorbing information as we go. Even though will not understand everything, we can still get a lot of information that can help us do well.

We studied on the way to SLC and before the Round 1 exam, so we can have the best chance possible when taking the test. My partner and I took the Round 1 exam during the afternoon, and we both we did alright, but not good, so we were worried about whether or not we made the second round. We got a notification in the evening that we made to Round 2. Kasey and I started to study all night and during the morning to cram as much information as we could. A little before noon, we took the Round 2 Case Study Test, and we thought it was a breeze.

Since we finished our event, we could finally hang out with friends from our school, as well as students from other schools. I meant so many new people at HOSA SLC. The next day, we went to the award ceremony, and my partner and I did not get in the Top 5, so we were not recognized. But later we were informed that we got 9th place, which we were happy with since we did not study very much for this exam.

From my experiences ar HOSA SLC, I have learned many things and met many new people. I would recommend that if you have a testing event, you should start to study prior to SLC to give yourself the most amount of time to study before the test. I feel that cramming last minute at SLC is ineffective and very stressful. I also think that you should try to meet new people since the conference is for members all over the state of Georgia.

If you are a middle or high schooler, I would recommend attending HOSA SLC, as it will be a memory you will never forget.

Joel Lee
Joel Lee

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