10 English Major Confessions That'll Have You Spitting Tea Onto Your Classic Novel In Surprise

10 English Major Confessions That'll Have You Spitting Tea Onto Your Classic Novel In Surprise

Despite the headline, some of us don't actually like hot tea.

I think it's safe to say that every student cuts some corners where possible. It's not cheating because we aren't copying other people's stuff, it's just working smarter, not harder, meaning that we don't always do everything the straightforward and harder way. I don't know if any other majors can relate, but these are my confessions as an English Major.

1. We've only done all of the reading 50% of the time

I'm not saying that I don't do the reading (although that happens sometimes), I'm just saying that I don't always have it done before class. I read a novel a week per English class typically, which I have at least 2 of every semester. That's a lot of reading, friends, even for someone who loves to read.

2. We really wish that we could just fun read

As I said, I love reading, but sometimes I just want to read the fun things that I've been steadily buying rather than the obscure novel that a professor has assigned to me.

3. We post discussion questions on books we haven't read all the time

I've perfected the art of making stuff up based on the title.

4. We deliberately dress like stereotypical English Majors sometimes

So basically we either look like librarians or the cover of folk albums. Add glasses, a classic novel, and a hot beverage to complete the look.

5. We know we won't get high-paying jobs

All I need out of a paycheck is to be able to support myself, a dog, and my book buying habit... (anyone know how much internal organs go for on the black market?)

6. We might not get coffee just for the "coffee and a book" aesthetic, but we definitely appreciate when it happens

I have only a small amount of shame and a lot of really pretty pictures to show for this.

7. Despite our protests that we "never ever want to teach ever absolutely not no," we still kind of want to be professors

As stated in number 6, no one is an English Major because they're going to get rich. We all love to read and study and analyze books. Even if we don't necessarily want to be a professor, there is something appealing about being able to just be an English Major as a career.

8. We sometimes get tired of being asked to edit papers for our friends

But then we remember that 1) we love our friends and 2) editing is a potential job, so we ought to practice.

9. We will get really passionate about book banning very quickly

Don't believe me, check out this reaction to the To Kill a Mockingbird banning in Mississippi last Fall.

10. We could win any argument as long as we get to write it as a paper

You know who is better at arguing than politicians? English Majors. We have to make stuff up based on what we see in the text and then use that text to back up these ideas all the time. We could argue anything well as long as we could write an essay with a thesis sentence/paragraph and an overarching conclusion stating why it's relevant, especially if close reading is involved.

Cover Image Credit: Lily Snodgrass

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To The Teacher Who Was So Much More

Thank you for everything

I think it's fair to say that most people remember at least one teacher who had a lasting impact on them. I have been incredibly lucky to have several teachers who I will never forget, but one individual takes the cake. So here's to you: thank you for all you have done.

Thank you for teaching me lessons not just in the textbook.

Although you taught a great lecture, class was never just limited to the contents of the course. Debates and somewhat heated conversations would arise between classmates over politics and course material, and you always encouraged open discussion. You embraced the idea of always having an opinion, and always making it be heard, because why waste your voice? You taught me to fight for things I believed in, and to hold my ground in an argument. You taught me to always think of others before doing and speaking. You showed me the power of kindness. Thank you for all the important lessons that may not have been included in the curriculum.

Thank you for believing in me.

Especially in my senior year, you believed in me when other teachers didn't. You showed me just what I could accomplish with a positive and strong attitude. Your unwavering support kept me going, especially when I melted into a puddle of tears weekly in your office. You listened to my stupid complaints, understood my overwhelming stress-induced breakdowns, and told me it was going to be okay. Thank you for always being there for me.

Thank you for inspiring me.

You are the epitome of a role model. Not only are you intelligent and respected, but you have a heart of gold and emit beautiful light where ever you go. You showed me that service to others should not be looked at as a chore, but something to enjoy and find yourself in. And I have found myself in giving back to people, thanks to your spark. Thank you for showing me, and so many students, just how incredible one person can be.

Thank you for changing my life.

Without you, I truly would not be where I am today. As cliche as it sounds, you had such a remarkable impact on me and my outlook on life. Just about a year has passed since my graduation, and I'm grateful to still keep in touch. I hope you understand the impact you have made on me, and on so many other students. You are amazing, and I thank you for all you have done.

Cover Image Credit: Amy Aroune

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10 Things Economics Majors Want You To Know

For the MOST part, it isn't that bad.


I decided to become an economics major the day I started college — I know, it wasn't easy for me to decide. Well, technically the real reason why I even chose the major to begin with was that I was undecided when applying for colleges. I was, and still am, an indecisive person.

When I saw economics as one of the majors at Stony Brook, I thought it was something I was interested in. After all, it was the "study of markets and the behaviors of people in that same market." Besides psychology and philosophy (the two majors my parents didn't want me to study), I then chose econ. While it wasn't a piece of cake, it wasn't too challenging either. Here are a couple things we all want so desperately to say.

1. It's not all math, don't worry

While so many people tend to think that economics is all math and no fun, I beg to differ. As I mentioned above, it is the "study of the behavior of people in the market," so while it is equations and statistics, it is also observing how people treat prices and products.

2. It's not difficult to understand

I don't understand why parents think that if you're majoring in econ, you're pretty much signing up to fail all your courses. If they actually took the course, they would understand that it isn't the economic theory you need to understand, but how people react to changes in the stock market.

3. Majoring in econ isn't the same thing as majoring in business

When I tell people I'm an econ major, they immediately say, "Oh, business?" And then I squeeze the urge to yell in their face that I said "ECON, ECON, NOT BUSINESS." Then they continue to say they know someone that majors in business, and then ask if I know the person. The annoyances then continue. Econ is the study of markets. Business is the study of being an entrepreneur. Totally two different things. Yes, they are co-dependent, but they are not the SAME thing.

4. Please don't rely on me to do your taxes or calculate tips at a restaurant

I hate it when everyone just stares at me when the check comes. I regret telling people I'm an econ major at that point. Because I don't know how to tell them I don't learn how to do taxes or calculate tips in class, that's what finance majors do. AGAIN, not the same thing.

5. I know most of us are Asian, but don't be racist

Don't come up to me, ask me what my major is, and automatically assume that I'm an international student. It really sucks. I have to then correct them and say I'm not, and then have them walk away.

6. One of the prime motives is because we want to learn game theory

How we play games is vital to econ majors, and it does involve heavy readings of game theory books.

7. We mostly won't do econ during grad school

Because grad school is a time where we want to actually exercise our skills, it isn't a time to dawdle and major in the same things as we did in undergrad. We're actually adults by then, and we most likely will resort to marketing, sales, or advertising agencies. At least I want to work at Instagram HQ someday.

8. Our classes never have curves

Finals season is always tough on us because it just means we gotta put in three times as much work to memorize formulas, theories, and math terms. Have mercy on our souls. Most professors aren't even nice enough to bring up our grades or give us extra credit.

9. The TAs are too busy with work to help us

Even they understand econ isn't a breeze, and as TAs, they can't really explain stuff to us that they don't understand either. In fact, most of the stuff we learn in class are self-taught, usually late nights with Starbucks coffee.

10.  We actually hate business majors

Because they have it easy. And they don't need math. Everything they do is easy peasy lemon squeezy.

Not gonna lie, I love being an econ major. But some cons can be too much and it does teach me not to do econ in grad. One thing is for certain though, I love what I do and I don't regret choosing it.

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