10 English Major Confessions That'll Have You Spitting Tea Onto Your Classic Novel In Surprise
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10 English Major Confessions That'll Have You Spitting Tea Onto Your Classic Novel In Surprise

Despite the headline, some of us don't actually like hot tea.

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10 English Major Confessions That'll Have You Spitting Tea Onto Your Classic Novel In Surprise
Lily Snodgrass

I think it's safe to say that every student cuts some corners where possible. It's not cheating because we aren't copying other people's stuff, it's just working smarter, not harder, meaning that we don't always do everything the straightforward and harder way. I don't know if any other majors can relate, but these are my confessions as an English Major.

1. We've only done all of the reading 50% of the time

I'm not saying that I don't do the reading (although that happens sometimes), I'm just saying that I don't always have it done before class. I read a novel a week per English class typically, which I have at least 2 of every semester. That's a lot of reading, friends, even for someone who loves to read.

2. We really wish that we could just fun read

As I said, I love reading, but sometimes I just want to read the fun things that I've been steadily buying rather than the obscure novel that a professor has assigned to me.

3. We post discussion questions on books we haven't read all the time

I've perfected the art of making stuff up based on the title.

4. We deliberately dress like stereotypical English Majors sometimes

So basically we either look like librarians or the cover of folk albums. Add glasses, a classic novel, and a hot beverage to complete the look.

5. We know we won't get high-paying jobs

All I need out of a paycheck is to be able to support myself, a dog, and my book buying habit... (anyone know how much internal organs go for on the black market?)

6. We might not get coffee just for the "coffee and a book" aesthetic, but we definitely appreciate when it happens

I have only a small amount of shame and a lot of really pretty pictures to show for this.

7. Despite our protests that we "never ever want to teach ever absolutely not no," we still kind of want to be professors

As stated in number 6, no one is an English Major because they're going to get rich. We all love to read and study and analyze books. Even if we don't necessarily want to be a professor, there is something appealing about being able to just be an English Major as a career.

8. We sometimes get tired of being asked to edit papers for our friends

But then we remember that 1) we love our friends and 2) editing is a potential job, so we ought to practice.

9. We will get really passionate about book banning very quickly

Don't believe me, check out this reaction to the To Kill a Mockingbird banning in Mississippi last Fall.

10. We could win any argument as long as we get to write it as a paper

You know who is better at arguing than politicians? English Majors. We have to make stuff up based on what we see in the text and then use that text to back up these ideas all the time. We could argue anything well as long as we could write an essay with a thesis sentence/paragraph and an overarching conclusion stating why it's relevant, especially if close reading is involved.

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