This Is The Kind Of Woman Who Gets Stuck In Bad Relationships With Men

This Is The Kind Of Woman Who Gets Stuck In Bad Relationships With Men

Full disclosure: I have been all of these women.


The woman who responds to texts in a heartbeat (or sends multiple texts), even though it takes him forever to respond.

The woman who tries too hard for a man who doesn't try at all--or even deserves a sliver of her attention, to be honest.

The woman who ignores her gut feeling about a man that's telling her He doesn't actually give a shit or He just wants to get in your pants, and believes his sweet, empty words instead.

The woman who doesn't believe in her own value and, therefore, ends up with men who don't believe in it either.

The woman who can't end a relationship because she's afraid to be alone, and she'd rather settle for men who don't know how to make her happy--or care enough to try.

The woman who tries to change his mind when he's decided we want different things, and keeps hoping he'll eventually change his mind.

The woman who gives and gives and gives without return--in healthy relationships, there isn't even the question of whether there will be return.

The woman who gives into pressure, even if she worked up the courage to set up her boundaries.

The woman who loses herself and her heart in the heat of the moment.

The woman who refuses to listen--to everyone and everything around her that tell her Stop, and look at yourself. You've never been so miserable. Who is he to do this to you? Or you to allow him into your life?

The woman who needs to feel needed by other people, but doesn't care much about herself.

The woman who cannot stand to be alone.

The woman who doesn't know how to love herself and cannot show men how to love her.

The woman who believes she deserves to be punished by abusive relationships--or that this is the best she'll ever have.

The woman who feeds off of attention and affection as an essential ingredient for making it through the day, the night, the week.

The woman who takes excuses--excuses that mean absolutely nothing to the man at all, instead of putting him back in place.

The woman who believes the world will be kind to those who are kind to the world when, in fact, it can be quite the opposite.

Admittedly, I have been all of these women stuck with all of the wrong men. I am not to blame for the actions of others, but I am responsible for allowing those behaviors to continue and not insist on the treatment I deserve. The major turning point in my life was when I was with a man who insisted he loved and cherished me but left in a heartbeat--all because I stuck to my own values. Up until that point, emotional blackmail tended to be much more subtle--then it became so blatant, it sent shockwaves throughout my entire sense of self. What if none of this is about me? How can someone so obviously disrespect me and my decisions? How do I move forward and find someone who is worthy of me?

The question used to be: how do I make him see me as worthy? You can't. What you can do is be a respectable, high-value woman and ask yourself: is this a man who is worthy of you? Does he deserve to be with you? You cannot put yourself second to a partner or, frankly, almost anyone else. The man who is worthy of you will insist on putting you on an equal level and will never, ever make you feel lesser than him.

I cannot promise myself that I will not repeat these same mistakes, because we all make mistakes all the time. However, I have been able to better think about what led me to make them and how I can move forward in better relationships over time. Part of what had to change is the people I choose to love, but the other part involved changing myself. And boy, it's been a long road, but I'm grateful for all the lessons I picked up along the way.

Popular Right Now

An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.

Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.


Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

If You Would Leave Your Significant Other If They Didn’t Have A Dollar To Their Name, It’s Not True Love

Money will get you anything you want, unless it's a fairy tale romance.


We have all heard about the Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos split. Jeff Bezos's fortune amounts to 140 BILLION dollars. With that money, he could have bought absolutely anything in the world that he wanted. I mean, what would you choose to buy with that wealth? However, in the end, the one thing he couldn't buy was, clearly, a happy marriage.

Let's take a moment to imagine that you jump into the future 50 years. What aspects of your life are you reflecting on?

Are you thinking about the outfits you wore, the status you showed off with your nice car, and all the money you had to spend on things you wanted?

Or are you measuring the quality of your life through the relationships you had with others? Maybe, most significantly, a romantic relationship?

If you've turned on the radio recently, you'll know that it's no secret that one thing almost everyone desires the MOST is true love.

Our society has learned to laugh at that notion, saying that companionate/ realistic love is really the only type of romance people get in real life.

So what do we do? We turn to money. It fills all the emotional voids we have in our unfulfilling lives. Yes, our unfulfilling lives. If you were satisfied with every aspect of your life, there would be no need for spending money aside from survival essentials.

When you turn your back on the idea of true love because you deem it "unreal" and turn to money, you may as well call yourself Alexander Hamilton because you are setting yourself up for a long life of feeling unsatisfied. Because, the truth is, fairy tale romances do actually exist.

But money will never buy it for you.

In fact, it may distract you and create the illusion of true love. Just because you enjoy the fancy gifts, homes, and trips someone can provide you does not mean you are absolutely, truly, head over heels in love with them.

If you wouldn't be with your partner if they didn't have a dollar to their name, it's not true love.

You can't pay for someone to truly love you, and extravagant gifts will never buy someone's love, just their comfort.

So if you can't buy love, how do you get it?

You've been hearing this since grade school, but getting your priorities straight is a MUST.

Work is important, and earning a salary is necessary. But work and money should never be what is most important in life, and you should never prioritize money above a significant other.

Finding the person you are meant to be with takes time, and maintaining the love between the two of you is no simple task.

Always put your significant other ahead of any desire of yours. Their needs should always come first, and for them, your needs will always come first.

It's the little things that keep people madly in love, not something money can buy.

The conversations you have with each other from the heart, the extra burden you put on yourself one day to allow your significant other to sleep in, or the meal you prepare for them so they have one less thing to worry about. The little, everyday things remind your S/O that they mean the world to you. Not the amount of money they're willing to spend for you.

So next time you're counting up your money to see if you have enough to afford the next new fun thing you want, consider how worthless it actually is to the quality of your life.

Love will bring your life value. Money will you bring you materials.

Don't settle for someone you're comfortable with. Find that person you would be with if they didn't have a dime in the world because that person will make you happier than any amount of money or materials ever could.

Related Content

Facebook Comments