As we have entered Pisces season, I have experienced a lot of new emotions, opportunities, and life situations. I can honestly admit that I may or may not have cried about 5 times in the past five days, but I've also had some really good celebratory moments. And here's the thing: when I have my downs, they are so intense and heavy that it feels like I'll only ever have downs.
For example, this past week, I was feeling really crappy about myself for not doing as much as my fellow peers in college. And I had some people who didn't know me at all try to tell my that the way I portray myself through writing and physical expressions of words was not...what's the word...engaging? To quote, I was told that my essays made me come across as "very formal", which is apparently college vernacular for "boring." I was also told that it didn't seem like I was engaging with the others in the room, which if you know me, is both half true and half untrue. The half-truth comes from the fact that I don't usually like being the first person to talk in a conversation with more than one person. It's not necessarily because I'm scared, but more so that I want to make sure I know exactly what I am going to say before I say it. I'm a thinker, a planner. Spontaneity is one of my weakness, and unfortunately, that can translate into confidence being a weakness in more professional settings.
First of all, I know that this stranger was wrong. 100%. I know that in the deepest parts of my heart and mind, that this person's perception of my personality was based on a very quick meeting and analysis, and usually, people aren't good readers of other people. I, on the other hand, feel like I am because I grew up only having my parents to interact with, which meant I turned to people watching and external sources for entertainment and attention.
It's not easy being told those things though, regardless of how untrue they are. Even upon hearing these perceptions, I simply kept my mouth shut. Why? Why didn't I speak up and say my own thoughts? I think because I felt intimidated in the moment, I didn't feel I had the place to defend myself. Which is wrong. I am and should always be allowed to and confident enough to do so. There's a difference between offering constructive criticism and just seeking for bland, made-up excuses as to why you don't support someone.
And that was just one of the downs this past week. But then came some pretty nice ups. I am incredibly lucky to attend a school where student involvement is top priority; in other words, people care about students taking the lead and initiative. Student Government Association is a crucial part of UGA's student success and this week was the election for the 2019-2020 Executive Board. The two tickets were based on two themes: Empower or Act.
To me, both are critical in any environment- especially a college campus. But this month especially, I really appreciated the presence and message of Empower. While the ticket's goal is to "Bridge the Gap", they also seek to work with the University Health Center to implement sexual assault bystander intervention, build effective partnerships with the LGBT Resource Center, adapt the parking priority system for student workers, implement meal swipe donations. and strengthen mental health resources. One of my own passions takes root in the motives of Empower as well, as they seek to provide access to free or discounted menstruation products.
While this part of my week was very specific to my campus life and involvement, it was helping me in my own emotional struggles. And I'm proud to say they won, so I'm looking forward to a lot more empowerment on campus over the next few years.
But why does empowering matter? If you seek to serve or make an impact through anything, it's important that you feel empowered to do so. It's important that you have the resources necessary to help you and everyone else have the same chance at success and opportunities.
I think empowering is just a human thing we all need to learn how to do better. Empower means to connect with someone, to uplift them in their efforts and struggles, and to support them.
So as we celebrate International Women's Day today, and as we continue to uplift those whose voices are ignored or less heard, keep in mind that it doesn't take much to do so. It's as simple as listening before talking. It's as simple as knowing what you're exactly going to say before you say it. It's making sure you're communicating in a mature, honest, and heck- formal way.
Don't let the quick judgements of others cause you to stray away from being confident in yourself and your abilities. And remember, just empower.